Franken stein

Morning? Well it's 1am and I think I'll be sleeping early today.
Well I'm rather shocked with whoever is reading my posts, especially someone related to me..
Jumping to that, I miss my car and the stereo and the comfortable seats with good steering wheel. Although the gas consumptions suck but I don't drive everywhere everyday. Unless if i want to.
One assignment down and passed; 4 more to go. Can't wait to finish all of it. Took a day to relax and not do any work. Didn't work that well, I feel all fidget-y and scared.
Today is really cold and somehow weird. I can't stop shivering.
Sometimes, I do need someone to be there for me so i can talk to them about anything. My only problem is that I unconsciously choose whom to talk to. Sometimes I 'unconsciously' reject them in a way. Well from only one or two person I was more focused to talk to, became 5 to 6 or more? I wish to be there for my friends or whoever for the matter but its either I can't or its their decision to talk to who they want like what I said just now.
Is it wrong to literally follow what a certain person said? Or is it stupid? Not jumping off a cliff and all more of don't do or say certain things? Well it's hard to not 'care' but it does seem to not have a problem. So there are pros and cons, I get it. I just hate it being a one sided thing. Although I do feel like if I resolve this by myself something bad will happen. Cause that usually happens. So I am scared. Not now of course soon enough but not now. What have I become? :( Frankenstein? no feelings. Well I do have feelings but I just don't want to give a damn cause If I do, it won't be appreciated and giving a damn is a wrong thing.
Not logical.. I sound stupid. My head is a bit confused.

Anyways, I shall sleep.
Goodnight people, Toodles.