12:06 am

Why is it that,
Si I've been giving hope then not fulfilling it; I will realize straight away and I will feel TRES TRES guilty?
mais if it's another person, somehow they'll react the total opposite.
Maybe my manses is coming or something cause I feel like merdre.
Easily annoyed, insecure, stressed out, frustrated, not satisfied etc...
About what I said, I think ce n'est pas juste.
I get annoyed so easily if plans are canceled or promises aren't fulfilled ou my hopes are crushed with stupid and LAME excuses.
So yeah..... -.-

Anyways,
I had a talk with my aunty and we were talking about socializing, friends, boyfriend.......
It was quite uncomfortable for me cause she was talking to me as if I were a 5 year old ok maybe not THAT young; probably 13.
I'm in college and I know how to take care of myself. I'm not stupid. Friends influencing you to smoke or drink or take drugs; it's actually all up to you. Only if you have will power to say "NO"
In Malaysia, (not that I want to degrade my country) Loads and loads of teenagers or even adults for the matter in whatever religion; drink alcohol, take drugs, have open sex etc...
Well of course it's morally wrong, but it's not like most of them don't know the consequences.
Bien sur, they'll be ashamed (or not, depends on the person) but all friends or family or school/college mates can only give advice.
They have conscience to think.
Back to what my aunty said.. I didn't have a chance to speak up.
I respect her point of view, but her facts are only based on television and metro...
It's not true that, a person that drinks alcohol will sabatoge his/her friends that don't drink alcohol.
I have friends that drink, but they have never forced me to drink; because I know they respect me.
So far, I've never known anyone taking drugs but It's relevant to the statement I've just writtin up there.
It's also true that, friends can influence, but like I said IF you have the will power to say "NO", you'll be smart enough to not do any of those things.
You have to be careful no matter what, but you shouldn't judge those that do those things and say that they'll sabatoge whoever they think are better than them.
Not ALL of them are like that.
I know it's wrong, but I'm just stating my OWN point of view.
They should learn that it's dangerous and they should stop, but that's all I can say and do.
It's always up to them.

Ouh, and she was talking about her daughter's Ex-boyfriend.
My aunty used to like him because he helped a lot for the family and became close.
but that was before my aunty knew what he did behind her back, she digged for more information about him because she was concerned for her daughter (I respect that)
I felt uncomfortable, because It's quite weird for me. Imagine your mother digging for information about your boyfriend.
Mais, The things she told me was beyond jaw-dropping.
I was really shocked that he would do such a thing. I was scared and insecure right after she told me.
Mais, even though finding the truth hurts but I would prefer that I found out by myself without anyones help.
I know I'll be depressed and TRES triste but it's better that way. You can have your own privacy non?
Seriously, after she told me my heart literally skipped a beat. I was really insecure, I still am actually.

Well enough babbling, I need to finnish my sketching.

Toodles :)