Cold-hearted

Apparently I've changed to become a bad person or a bitch which i presume.
I don't jaga hati orang, I like to cari gaduh, Let's just say I'm a cold-hearted bitch, until I tak perasan what's right and what's wrong. That's me I guess.
Sometimes I wonder, If she starts looking at the mirror and stares at her self SO LONG and realize she's worse than me.

I took loads of patience with me whenever I am with her. I don't like fighting, that is just plain stupid. I hate being used, I am the definition of a friend with benefit. They don't take me seriously, I effing jaga her hati, you think I can do it 24/7, of course NOT. She does not know me, I am sensitive but I don't like showing it, cause it shows that I am weak, and when they look at me, memang lah they'll see something so weak until they use me.

It's been happening for years and this person doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through, I have to do everything for her, all her responsibilities I kene tanggung. I shouldn't feel guilty, OUH let me add something I don't CARE about other people. again a COLD SELF HEARTED BITCH OF THE CENTURY. yup, that's me. I think there's a lot to add too.

I wonder why I put up with her. WHY in the world do I duduk sebelah dia. Patience is a virtue. Very hard to maintain. I'm wondering for real, i don't want to be bad, I've never berniat to be a bad person. I don't even know why this is bothering me. This is so small, compared to other problems that could affect their lives. This is a small matter. Why do I keep things to myself. sigh. I can be stupid at times, but that's me, being born after the last child which was 9 years ago.
Ok that was sarcastic, people hate me, and I don't knw.

Whatever.