Lemonlimeliyana

day 2

2011-08-04T18:03:00.001+08:00

I already failed this project haha, well I shall give you my day 2 picture. It's a few food signage in Bukit Bintang.

This is from an app called "Pudding Camera" a korean app, I quite like it actually and I used the fisheye mode with a vintage brown effect.

2011-08-03T01:28:00.001+08:00

taylors luncheon

2011-08-02T22:33:00.006+08:00

10 ringgit meal at Taylors University. I am FO REAL! There's a few restaurants but only one is without invite OR you go to Temptations which is like acafeteria and you can spend up to 15 bucks with really good dessert. I was invited for a 10 ringgit luncheon which is non-inclusive of beverages.

10 Ringgit you will get:

Appetizer

Main Course

Dessert

Refilled ice water

Coffee or Tea

I was really hungry and the "Potato & Leak Soup" was my second serving and it was really good.

The Main Course was the "Grilled Steak with Vegetables" the potatoes with the sauce was amazing! It was super clean, if they gave me a second serving, I would probably lick the plate clean too.

The dessert of the day was "Mango Pudding" I know it's actually called something else, but it had tiny bits of mango and it was so creamy. Delicious.

Overall it was a really good meal. They change menu every week or month.. I don't really remember, but the main course would be served at the Temptations Cafeteria, they would have soup of the day or salad and they have their dessert selections. All cooked and baked by the Taylors Culinary Students :)

day 1

2011-08-02T22:24:00.003+08:00

I thought of trying something new. Why not do project 365 using iphone photography?

You can do so many things with your iphone and download a bunch full of photography applications to experiment.

I used the "Leme Cam" application with the double exposure mode.

I was heading to my aunties condo, I didn't drive and I sat at the back.. so I was playing around with the view and my phone. :)

*update

2011-08-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

Hello hello!

I have tonnes of things to post and ideas to show. So excited! I realize I have so many pictures of food so I shall review some of the later and maybe I'll put one first soon.

So check em out, I'll update this blog reaaaaal soon. :)

2011-08-01T00:32:00.002+08:00

To all muslims

SELAMAT BERPUASA, may you have a good fasting month :)

2011-07-29T00:27:00.005+08:00

My first try with videography, so I'm pretty new but I'm doing a few more videos so check em out ;)

This is a Music Video for

Huddle Formation : The Go! Team

Directed/Filmed/Edited by Me

Cast by appearance :
Farhanis Fadzil
Diyana Anwar
Ameen Ruslan
Yuki Miyasaka

the bread shop

2011-07-27T02:04:00.008+08:00

I'm pretty much a fan of cafe's and I'll occasionally find a few with either my family or my friends. Anyhoo, I found this shop called "The Bread Shop" at Bukit Damansara near the 2nd Decanter furthest to the school.

The price range would be MYR4 to MYR30? depending on what you eat of course. It's a bit on the pricey side. The bread is fresh and even though there aren't that many choices, you are still satisfied with the taste and you would love to go there more often. The interior is superb, it has a rustic feel and it's small and cozy. Opens only on Monday till Saturday from 8am till 7.30pm, except that Saturday closes at 5pm.

I ate Danish bread with Ice Chocolate, my brother ate Cinnamon Roll with Black Coffee and my mom ate Bread & Butter Pudding with Earl Grey Tea. Mouth watering I must say.

Here's the address and contact number, if you guys are interested.

11 Jalan Setiakasih 5,
Bukit Damansara,
50490 KL
Tel : 03-2093 8734

Till then..

Toodles :)

squirt that brain juice

2011-07-26T01:55:00.002+08:00

Hello people,

Basically now, I'm having my "so called" 6 months break and I am turning into a lazy bum. (whenever I think of the word lazy bum, an english accent would pop up in my head suddenly) Anyways, I've been browsing through blogs from other bloggers and I am of course more than inspired to do something similar but I don't know where to start how to manage my work. Sort of a lifestyle/outfit/event/music/design - ish blog? if I haven't abandoned this too long, i wouldn't be so stuck right now. I have clothes to DIY, works to be digitalized and uploaded to my behance, a book to read, things to be settled and files to be transferred. I failed all, except reading my book (sort of) and not just "any" book. It's the classic Lord of the Rings by J.R.R Tolkien. 1000++ pages with letters that are 9 to 8 point sizes small. I try making this break as productive as ever but it's too difficult cause I have a tendency to slack off and procrastinate and waste my 6 months. The whole purpose of trying all this isn't just a trend, I do find something meaningful to the things that they do, and they have so much passion towards it, I'm just at awe. Most of them are around my age and they've accomplished so many things and I'm here in front of my laptop, just envying those people and watching Youtube video's. So disappointed. I waste my whole mornings in bed and end up having 12/15 hours to spare. Tomorrow is a new day, well today actually.. and I think I should use this 6 months as a Self-build-up break.

P.S : I want a boyfriend, forget all the feminist crap and bullshit people say, I want to be in a relationship. I've been bottling this up for too long but I'm just too scared and too picky to have one. meh -.- "Retardism still exists in my dictionary"

Till then,

Toodles :)

Back and Up again

2011-07-24T02:58:00.002+08:00

Hello fellow bloggers,

I have actually abandoned this blog for a very very long time and It's a pity because I've expressed so many things here. Memories. My english is not as articulate as before because I haven't been reading much and the people I hang around with don't really give a flying fuck about grammar (not everyone) and I guess my vulgarity has increased as well.. I know I can restart where I stopped? The last time I wrote a proper post was in November last year and August 2011 is just around the corner. How time flies, it's scary that things happen so fast. Things change and people change and of course I changed.. a lot. I can't possibly tweet all of this, it would be sickening to everyone. I've been updating my tumblr very frequently but it doesn't give me that much satisfaction as it did before. There is a certain expectations whenever I post anything, and to be honest I want feedback, I want people to like or reblog my post but some of the things I post aren't given that much feedback which turns me off. I use tumblr just to get ideas and collect them in a blog for me to browse through when I need inspiration the most, but 90% of it isn't MINE and I don't give much credit to the people that created it. I feel guilty.. Unlike this blog of mine is created by me and the posts are mine. I shouldn't have abandoned this. Anyhoo..

UPDATE :

Since November 2010, I finally finished my Diploma in Graphic Communication Design at Taylor's Lakeside. I still remember my post writing about which course to take and one of them was actually Environmental Biology. It's funny how I ended up taking arts instead, there's always a reason why. Art is more of my forte, I'm comfortable with design and I have so many interests related to it. Don't get me wrong, I was really into environmental studies when I was young, I still am, maybe... not as much as before but I do care for the environment. So.. I'm a free woman now, I'm just waiting for February for my next intake in Swinburne University, Melbourne. That's another big step.

2011 is the most active, great, different, busy year of my life. I've met so many people along the way. The good, the bad and any other cliche sentences you could think of. I've done crazy things with my friends, been to countless events, had good and bad experiences with guys and friends, drama. I've regretted what I said in my last November post about the guy I dated briefly, wrong judgement, seduced by his words and betrayed friends that trusted me. I was really messed up and I think I still am. I have that urge to do something bad but my conscience reminds me everyday what it'll do to me, but I never listen. Today, friends are important to me and so are my family. I won't let stupid urges lose friends I love. I've learnt it the hard way before, but I guess now the things I do, just effect me only and not anyone else (hopefully)

"You're young once, but you only have a few chances to improve yourself before death"

and to me, you don't know when you'll die. I scare myself sometimes with my thoughts but I'm as stubborn as hell. I have so many things I want to do, but I never initiate it.

Oh! I cut my hair super short since January this year and I've been frequently cutting it every 2 to 3 months. I even think because of my haircut I have even changed my personality and dressing. I'm liking the new me in that sense, maybe cause I'm quite confident unlike last time. It could be overwhelming to a few people but I don't really give a damn. I've taken interest with blogging and fashion styles and design I might combine all of this and make something out of it. I thought of creating a personal fashion blog and ideas or some-sort, but I don't know where and how to start. I even want to try new skills like skateboarding, I know... I would most probably trip and fall all the time, but what the heck, no harm trying right? Since I have six months, I want to do so many things and this August is fasting month and it's a month for me to be a better person and that's a promise. I'll try to update more and probably post pictures of anything recent.

If i were to vent everything it could probably end up looking like J.R.R Tolkien's "Lord of The Rings" book haha, but I wouldn't know where to start anyways. I write as if you were my long lost best friend. :p oh well... Till then, you'll be seeing more of me, maybe ;)

after months and months of vanishing, I finally get to write this again..

Toodles :)

2011-02-17T23:43:00.001+08:00

Well, I won't be updating my blog so often here.

But check out my tumblr. *GASP I've turned into the dark side ahahah

http://lemonlimeliyana.tumblr.com/

enjoy :) :)

I'm back from the dead

2010-11-28T21:59:00.003+08:00

Hey there,

I think the last time I've actually written anything was in May.. If I'm not mistaken. I've actually gone to Tumblr.. Yes I have gone into the "dark side" haha I don't really write posts there, not because everyone is posting images or reblogging other posts, but I've been expressing my emotions and feelings visually, with a few influences from the other users of course.

I find it hard to express myself directly because many people that I'm close to reads or browses through my post on tumblr and usually comments it straight to my face and frankly, I do hate that and I feel like slapping their faces when they do that. They judge the littlest things and I'll get offended. I might not have the strongest heart but I still can stand firmly on the ground. Hence, posting images or "quotes" are quite vague? Just because of that, I have a deep dissatisfaction of letting my emotions flow.

Looking back 8 months ago perhaps, I was a very different person. More of an introvert, never went out as much (other than being with my ex-boyfriend) , Couldn't talk to people, was more shy, Followed the rules (I still do) , and other things I can't think of. I wouldn't say I'm proud of it, but I choose to be the way I am now, it does help release my tension. I remembered using blogging as an alternative to help calm me down and went jogging whenever I had the chance. I guess I've opened myself to new friendships and made myself more friendly, tried making new friends and doing other things I usually won't do. I drive more often and I'm usually in college and I'll end up coming home by 7. I know I can't wake up early in the morning because I'm so used to sleeping late and waking up 8 hours after or even 12 hours if I get the chance but if I had class I would obviously wake up earlier but I would probably be a zombie when I get to campus. Work has been my life, and I've been burying myself in it to keep me occupied from "unnecessary" stress and when I get stressed from work, I'll turn to my friends to keep me sane or I guess "insane". That has been my life 24/7 for the past 8 months. Not just that, having unnecessary flings with hope and ending up with no feelings and despair. I've been treating each and every one of them like rebounds and I do feel very very sorry for all of them. I never had any intentions to do so. I haven't been a good girl, or a good friend or even a good daughter and somehow I always blame "him" because of it. Made myself vulnerable and I've turned into a more selfish person. I get so scared caring what others are thinking so I don't usually thinking about other people feelings and try not to get hurt, but I do at the end..

Everything is so messed up because finally after 8 months, I have finally adored someone. In the past 8 months, I have never thought about this at all and it was sudden. I never thought of liking him at all and he makes me happy. Finally someone that is concerned with what I'm going through and someone that listens to my problems. Someone I feel so safe with and I don't have to be so insecure for being so stupid when I'm around him. Someone that has an opinion and things to talk about and actually sounds interesting. Even though he likes talking a lot, he still does things that I like and talk about things that I like. The only problem is that, he has a girlfriend and he always had problems with girls.. I can't trust him and I can't be with him. He has TOO many problems to deal with and if I be with him, I'll be F-ed up as well. I sound like a bloody hypocrite and I'm being exactly like the girl I hate, but Karma slaps me again with another problem to solve. Frankly, I miss him a lot, and I do like him, I haven't seen him in a while and I miss talking to him, I feel like hugging him and I know this sounds smushy.. but I've been thinking about him A LOT. It's been a while I guess, and I haven't been a relationship since early this year. Heck, some people can last for years without one, why can't I right?

I've been babling too much.. I think I might start updating my blog again.. This feels good actually. :)

Till then..

Toodles

Thinking back

2010-05-14T19:34:00.003+08:00

Fast forward, Hello peeps

I know it's been a while since my last post.

I've been updating my Tumblr (sort of)

Well what's on my mind now...

Honestly.. I'm exhausted, mentally and physically. Lack of sleep, and not enough of food consumption. Whole workload of shit. I know I CAN handle this, but for now I'm too tired to even think about it.

I know it's too late to talk about this, but I do avoid this topic and I feel so awkward talking about it. I am enjoying life now, being single. Just the fact that, I did not plan to move on and I didn't think he would as well. I wasn't prepared for such news. Knowing that person even broke my heart into shattered pieces. The amount of apologies given won't change how I feel. I mean, I can't brush off a year that easily. This takes time and somehow I'm taking all my time to do so. I asked for it, so now I'm facing the consequences. I can't help to think that, it's just my luck and I will always end up being like this. The feeling of betrayal keeps replaying in my mind and more and more of those makes me depressed. It's karma, I guess. My perception of moving on, doesn't mean I need a boyfriend, I can live without one even though I will have an urge of wanting one. I really try to ignore you but you keep popping up like some pop up book and it catches me off guard. I can't look at your name and her name, I just imagine the most frustrating thing ever. I'll feel even more insecure. However, I did turn into a more optimistic person and I'm liking this feeling. Annoying at times, but I remembered I used to be like this last time. I guess I'm more friendly? I don't know, but I open up to people even more easily now. I feel cheery and people give the same vibe as well and it helps me, A LOT. Surrounded by people sort of puts my mind off him. I know that my family and friends are there to support me and I am so thankful for that. I don't know when I'll heal exactly but I know time is what I have now and I'm spending it slowly.

I want to say more but I think I would rather talk about one thing at a time.

Till then..

Toodles

Shopping spree

2010-02-06T22:10:00.003+08:00

Hello everybody.
Today I was shopping by myself. I'm not trying to self pity myself or whatever, but everyone was occupied and I couldn't contact some of them. So why waste my time waiting and just get on with it and satisfy myself. WHICH I did. I bought a pair of shorts, a bag and a dress! I am happy, so so very happy :D

Went to Threadzoo which was at Rasta and then I went to another bazaar at Subang Parade which had quite an interesting variety of things but I met Yi-vonne and bought the dress at her shop Oh My Diet. Which I might say had the best choice. Cheh cheh commercializing pulak.. Today was quite dreary, the sky was so grey and it felt like it was gonna rain but thank god it didn't while I was driving back to TTDI.

I came back home and I watched NEW MOON, for the first time actually. I feel like beating Bella up, (for new moon fans please do not read this paragraph) She was fidgeting and shouting so much like a spastic child. (No offense by the way) Jacob was being such a nice and protective man and Bella had to choose Edward. New Moon somehow made the vampires even prettier (in a bad way) Vampires are sophisticated, dark creatures. They made them look womanly.. However, the female vampires had the most appropriate "look"? I'm quite dissatisfied with the movie. I'm not siding towards Jacob because he has that heavenly fine shaped body but he was truly a nice person in the movie and I preferred him since the First Twilight.

Anyway, I went and ate dinner with my family and waited so long for our food, my mom and sister bought groceries while waiting for the food and I ended up sitting there alone playing solitaire. -.- I have an interest when it comes to solitaire now, and I don't know why. Probably because I get bored too easily. While I was alone, there was this middle aged man staring at me while he was eating and gave me the smirk and that 'look'. Creepy. I don't understand why men like that even exist, he is such a pervert.

Today I was thinking and and came up with a sentence, 2 maybe..

" Even if you're treated badly doesn't mean u have to do the same. Sooner or later they will learn their lesson "

LIFE LESSON! Everyone should remember that :)

Well that's it for today. I miss writing long posts rather than posting images. I guess I didn't have interesting updates. Well, I wouldn't call this post Interesting but at least I had something to write about.

Toodles :)

I'M BACK!

2010-02-03T20:01:00.003+08:00

Hello Everyone!
Gosh I abandoned you for so long.. Everyone kept asking me to update my blog and I'm so sorry.. haha So here's the update:
I have FINALLY finished my third semester and my FIRST YEAR of graphic design.
I'm moving to the new Taylors campus soon and I heard that there's a cow staying near the lake and after the rain stops the cow shit will linger around campus.
I am currently working at Topshop One Utama and the people there are GREAT!
2009 has ended and its Feb 3rd 2010. Started quite badly but its turning out okay now.
My house renovation is finally complete and I have my OWN room! AND i've finished putting everything in.
I went to the Nokia concert, and it was boring actually. Eventhough Boys like Girls performed, it wasn't my cup of tea.
I banged the car door and my finger got stuck, so I think my nail will be coming off soon.
I'm going to Kings of Convenience this 22nd of March with my brother and his friends.
My boyfriend is going to Sydney this March and he's going there for a year and a half to do his piloting.
I feel like shit now for many reasons actually.
I think I've turned into a twitter whore; belief me its not a compliment.
I have one drawer JUST for my shades and I still want to buy more.
I feel like smashing someones head to the door, but I can't cause that's considered as murder, if he/she dies.
My brother is working now, I'm so proud of him.
I think I lost my capabilities to speak french fluently.
I mainly post images in my tumblr.
After Photography class, I am finally inspired to take up photography again.
I want new clothes.
I have a cool bean bag chair.
I am loosing my patience.

I guess that's it for now, I don't think I will post frequent updates but I'll try my best

Toodles :)

Hello?

2009-12-10T21:37:00.002+08:00

Hey :)
Its been a while. A lot happened, but I guess it's inappropriate to write it here.
Anyways, I don't have much to say now.
Except that I had a very tiring day today. Walked around Sunway. NOT sunway pyramid. SUNWAY. It was for my photography class actually. :)
Then I went to Dauz's house. Hung out and talked. Quite a good day actually.

And here I am posting actually nothing. I have made a tumblr account. I'm quite curious, everyone seems to love it. I have one now.

lemonlimeliyana.tumblr.com

Well that's it for now
Toodles :)

Words of uncertainty

2009-11-29T01:39:00.002+08:00

Hey people..
Well I'd rather blurt this out, be a little direct and at least clear my mind for a bit.
Have you felt like you don't feel beautiful enough for your 'loved' one? Well I do. I just don't know if he thinks that I am beautiful to HIM. I don't know if I'm attractive enough. I don't know if I'm special or not. I just feel ugly and unimportant not just to him but to anyone else I know. I can't help myself to think that other people have more attraction, have more beauty in them and that does slightly make me jealous. I don't know about you other girls out there, but this is annoying me. His standard of beauty is way past my capabilities. I can't exceed that. I can't be as beautiful as that. I guess what I feel which may be stupid but I want to 'satisfy' him? Well I'm not sure of another synonym that can replace that word for now. I just don't feel good enough for him or ANYONE.
In fact, I just feel that no one is proud of me for what I've been doing. This just makes me uninspired and discourages me from doing anything. I just have no mood to do anything. No inspiration even if I've flipped and browsed a gazillion photo's or idea's. My expectations are quite low for myself, so if I did something and achieved it greater than what I expected; I'll feel extra happy and I'll be so proud of myself, but when I share that happiness of mine. I won't get that same reaction, It's either an OKAY or ouh thats good.. or ouh okay lah.. or not bad.. I don't remember the last time I heard anyone say that they are proud of me. I'm not a machine but I do try my best and if my effort was good enough; I know that I have made MYSELF happy but I know that I won't get that same reaction. I just feel that I never reach their expectations. I just don't know. I want to be selfish all the time and want everyone to praise me or at least make me feel important, but I know that I can't.

I actually want people reading this. No one hears me. No one reads what I write. I want peoples reactions. I want THEM to realize and consider my feelings for now. Sometimes I just feel that it's unfair.

I'll end this for now.
Toodles.

Love

2009-11-28T19:32:00.000+08:00

" How we could just go around shouting in public not bothering if anybody thought that we were crazy because all we wanted was just to see each other smile & laugh and that'd be enough. How he showed me a side of him that nobody has ever seen before - a gentle yet vulnerable side. He was mine, and with just him alone I was very contented with life. Because life with him was never dull, I had something to look forward to everyday, even if it was just a smile. I remember how we'd walk in supermarkets pretending that we were married, cooking dishes; doing house chores; playing FIFA & betting on soccer together.

I'll never forget how his eyes seemed to sparkle whenever he laughed or whenever we met. How our bodies fitted so perfectly together - hands & shoulders. How his tone changed when he was talking to me compared to when he was talking to someone else. How he always winked at me when other girls were oogling at him to give them a hint that he was my boyfriend. How protective he was of me when guys tried to get near me and how he loved playing tricks on others. "

{ Le Love }

2009-11-24T20:52:00.003+08:00

BLOGSHOP OPEN!

What is in my mind at 10.20pm

2009-11-22T21:41:00.004+08:00

Hey Y'all.. ahhaha

I just came back from Bangsar with sarah. Found this skirt and bag and shorts. I didn't have money to buy it so I reserved the skirt. For now.. Hopefully I'll have enough money to buy that skirt.

Had long chats with her. It's been a while. I miss all that actually.

College is starting tomorrow. Starting with only ONE subject which is Photography :) Hopefully it won't be a drag. Somehow I don't feel like talking to anyone, except people close to me. I feel lazy. I want to watch paranormal activity with my sister later. I shall review about that soon.

After topics after topics with Sarah. Somehow I do realize how insecure I am especially with my boyfriend I can't help to think that there are SO many beautiful and attractive girls walking around; stylish and some that are friendly. It feels like a trap for boys. I know that love conquers all but sometimes we know that some boys can't stop looking and praising. Who wouldn't want to look at attractive or stylish girls. Even I would. Then there would be jealousy, the most stupid and worst thing unimaginable. Of course there should be trust, sometimes we have to be strong and know that they won't cheat but on the other hand the other person should not abuse that trust of yours either. Maybe girls won't feel that way if people around them reassures them? Make them feel beautiful? Say encouraging words? I don't know. Well eye candy for all.

I have been delaying my blogshop for so long already. I have already made the blog

http://dietaryfashion.blogspot.com

but I haven't posted anything yet. Well I promise that

I'll post it soon. I feel really guilty already :/

I have a feeling I'll be as spastic as Igor when I start my third semester. The camera is already heavy plus my handbag and I don't feel like bringing a backpack. I don't even know what happened to my backpack. I should widen my horizon with influences from different professional photographers. I do want to be the best of the best. Even though my class has many great future photographers. I guess they have their own 'style'. Maybe I do too? I hope so. I'm quite rusty with that machine. It's been too long since I handled that. I do need inspiration too and a good lens :p

I should go take a bath now.

Toodles :)

Rain rain go away

2009-11-16T18:32:00.002+08:00

Evening everyone.

Today feels so grey.. Anyways, I watched 500 days of summer. NICE movie I might say. You have that desire of doing those things with your man. It's sweet but then the ending was quite shitty. There was a happy ending but before that, everything was messed up. I was inspired with his passion for architecture well when he started sketching. I bought a new A6 sketch book and I have a few doodles in there already :)

I really don't like it when I want a nice relaxing day then someone or I guess some people are rushing things for no reason and act all jittery and sometimes they start hyperventilating in the middle of everything. You get pushed around and being forced to do things you don't want to do.

I watched "This is it" the second time with Shaira and our mothers. I was still excited and was still amazed with the effort and his work. I wouldn't say I am his biggest number 1 fan but I do adore him. It is sad that he was taken for granted by people around him. Anyways, I realized after his death. Everyone started saying that they are MJ's #1 fan. Are they even serious? Do they think they're important because they're his fans? Do they think it's cool saying that? I just hate that after his death, they just REALIZE that MJ was an icon an idol. They regret making fun of him as wacko jacko, child molester and what not. I know some people are actually sincere when they say that they're his #1 fan, but I'm just saying about the other people. It's just sad and pathetic.

I need some inspiration to do my blogshop. Some word of encouragement? interest? I don't know.

Anyhoo, I was thinking.. what if I ran away somewhere unknown and not let anyone know. Make myself invisible. Not letting any of my relatives or anyone close to me know where I am. Leave everything behind. Everything I did, everything I own, everyone I love. What reaction would I get? Satisfaction? Happiness? Relieved? or even better; No reaction. Curiosity... I don't know....

To all 2009 SPM candidates : Good Luck! Try your best. You can do it :) A month to freedom! Make it worthwhile when you have the chance after that.

Blogshop header

2009-11-13T23:37:00.004+08:00

Supposedly BIGGER and it does have a high resolution, but somehow this picture sucks ahaha
Anyways, this will be my blogshop header :)

FRESH FOOD
(Fashion is a diet)

Finally!

2009-11-09T21:29:00.004+08:00

Evening everyone,
today is a sad yet joyful day. We finished our exams today and tomorrow will be our last presentation. Hoorah! for that. However, today was the last day 'lepak-ing' with ez :(
We had a fun time squishing in my car which apparently can fit 8 people. Ate at Boston and felt the Boston-like atmosphere but felt like China town actually. We were around Sunway. Then I went to USJ and sent her back. I hope she'll have a safe journey and WE'LL MISS YOU!

Anyways, semester break is coming soon and I have so much installed this whole break which is about a week or two. I can't wait to start. Probably building my portfolio. Developing my "skills" as a designer. Make a nice journal for myself. Start on my photography. Gosh am I so rusty in it now. OUH I will be selling my items soon. So check it out! Other than that! I'll be decorating my new room. So this will take more than a week but at least I'm occupied right? Of course I'll be going out with my friends which have been long forsaken. I guess that's the only plan so far. so far....

Till then..
Toodles :)

Dream dream dream

2009-11-08T00:35:00.002+08:00

Hey hey,

Had a good day today. Went to Strawberry Fields,Taipan with Yi vonne for lunch. Ordered Cream Butter Chicken Rice. It was nice and too creamy; couldn't finish it. Yi vonne ordered this large claypot bowl of tomyam which was IMPOSSIBLE to finish. 3 medium sized bowls could only finish 1/8 of that huge claypot bowl. Like i said.. Impossible.
Later just now Yi vonne, Gordon, Reena, her two brothers, Naqib and I went for a movie at GSC. We watched "This is it" . MJ was superb. You can't describe how dedicated he was. Perfectionist, humble, thoughtful, loving, and a hard working person. You just have to watch it yourself.

I realized I've been day dreaming a lot lately. The good and the bad. Imagining sometimes a loved one would just sweep me off my feet with romantic gestures and wonderful surprises just for me. No fights, no arguments. Just two people in love doing so many things. Not talking just about one person but about two. Having fun even if people were watching us jump or scream in the middle of everything and not care where we were because you are the special one and no one else is. Having someone to be your knight and shining armour being there at all time ready to slave that dragon for you to keep you safe from all harm. Prioritizing your needs making everyone happy. That fuzzy feeling started building up all of the sudden. Then again I have been dreaming of death. Violent death. Getting hit by a lorry then die in a fire-y car crash. Get bitten by poisonous animals. Vultures eating your flesh.

Anyways, I just spaced out..
Till then..
Toodles.

Potato skins

2009-11-07T11:14:00.003+08:00

Morning people! :)
Today is officially a lazy day and and and and and I am proud to say that I have finished my assignments but I'll just have to print my typography poster soon. :)
2 exams on Monday and my second semester is DONE!

I dreamt of potato skins last night. Weird. Now I'm craving for one. I might probably make some tonight :D
I want to go to cotton on browse some clothes and probably save some money to buy them :)

Ouh! before I forget. I shall be selling some of my clothes and accessories soon. So check em out and you are welcomed to buy them :)

Till then,
Toodles :)

Mundane

2009-11-04T14:06:00.004+08:00

Hello :)

The Internet connection is so slow and I need those pictures FAST for my assignment :S
I had so much to write but I keep forgetting because I was constantly interrupted by people when I'm on the computer. Which is quite annoying. I don't mind if you politely ask for the computer but don't just push me aside and directly telling me that you need it. Its called manners.

Anyways, I washed my car today. My Neo came back! I'm so happy and it is so shiny and clean. :D I was soaking wet and my shorts are still wet but I'm too lazy to change. The weather is somewhat dull today. I just washed my car and it's raining soon. -.-

I just find it sad that people nowadays are trying so hard to be somewhat unique? If you are prone to becoming a person that follows people then I guess that's your path or something but if everyone wants to be unique, it's just the same as following the 'trend' . I don't find myself unique at all but that's me and I just accept for whatever I am and people categorizing types? Are stupid. Trend setters, trend followers are just people being what they are. I can openly admit that I do occasionally follow trends and I enjoy dressing up but I know I can't afford being 'trendy' or 'unique' or even 'setting trends' so I just wear with what I have which may or may not be up-to-date. Sometimes trying so hard to be these kind of people will just loose your modesty and make you a self-absorbed, attention seeking, conscious person. Which I find it a pity. If you are naturally like that, then good for you; that's not wrong. I just find this annoying because I hear this almost everyday. People should stop trying so hard and just go with the flow.

My second semester is ending and I can't wait until third semester starts. I have only ONE subject which is photography! I haven't finished my digital imaging assignment but hopefully I'll finish it soon enough. Probably I'll post it once I'm done. I'm afraid that I won't create a certain 'style' of my own because in this industry people recognize you for you craftsmanship and personal style. Which I have neither one. I still have a lot to do and I'm procrastinating at this moment and I should stop.

I should go now..
Toodles :)

Franken stein

2009-10-30T01:00:00.006+08:00

Morning? Well it's 1am and I think I'll be sleeping early today.
Well I'm rather shocked with whoever is reading my posts, especially someone related to me..
Jumping to that, I miss my car and the stereo and the comfortable seats with good steering wheel. Although the gas consumptions suck but I don't drive everywhere everyday. Unless if i want to.
One assignment down and passed; 4 more to go. Can't wait to finish all of it. Took a day to relax and not do any work. Didn't work that well, I feel all fidget-y and scared.
Today is really cold and somehow weird. I can't stop shivering.
Sometimes, I do need someone to be there for me so i can talk to them about anything. My only problem is that I unconsciously choose whom to talk to. Sometimes I 'unconsciously' reject them in a way. Well from only one or two person I was more focused to talk to, became 5 to 6 or more? I wish to be there for my friends or whoever for the matter but its either I can't or its their decision to talk to who they want like what I said just now.
Is it wrong to literally follow what a certain person said? Or is it stupid? Not jumping off a cliff and all more of don't do or say certain things? Well it's hard to not 'care' but it does seem to not have a problem. So there are pros and cons, I get it. I just hate it being a one sided thing. Although I do feel like if I resolve this by myself something bad will happen. Cause that usually happens. So I am scared. Not now of course soon enough but not now. What have I become? :( Frankenstein? no feelings. Well I do have feelings but I just don't want to give a damn cause If I do, it won't be appreciated and giving a damn is a wrong thing.
Not logical.. I sound stupid. My head is a bit confused.

Anyways, I shall sleep.
Goodnight people, Toodles.

24th of October

2009-10-24T21:12:00.003+08:00

Evening?
Today was quite interesting? I woke up early in the morning with shocking news, but I would rather not state it here.
Then I drove to Subang to see my dearest Dauz for breakfast. Walked to Stadium and ate their scrumptious Roti Canai. Then we walked to Melur, our objective was to eat something weird, but ended up eating apam. It sounded weird because it was in Indian and we assumed it was something we've never tried. Nevertheless we still ate the apam. Supposedly to walk back to Tanamera but the parents asked us to get in the car. So we did..
Anyways.. We hung out for a while till 1 then picked yi vonne at Putra Heights then drove to Sunway to meet Rifan, Sherrif and Andrew. After that, showed reza to my house from Rasta, then we went to my house while I changed to my baju kurung. Then, we drove to Jalan Ampang for Aqilah's open house. So you get why I was wearing a baju kurung, BUT I was the only one wearing a baju kurung. -.-
Stayed there till 8 plus then went back to my house. Now everyone has gone back home :)

It was a really tiring day for me today.
Well MY problem is.. Having a sense of jealousy. I don't get myself at all. Of course I won't say anything because its stupid and I'll be wasting my time. I feel sad that, there are people who won't open up with me. There are ways saying things but hiding something is another thing. I do have to learn to adjust and adapt right? Recently I have been talking to most of my guy friends and surprisingly enough. They have accommodated me with nice conversations and good advice. They've been keeping me company like how they would always do. Honestly, I was obligated enough to back away from them because I was scared and uncomfortable. Kept thinking with what people would think or Him. Not just that, I felt guilty talking to them because I had someone whom I love. Through experience? I figured out that he doesn't mind and he does the same too. This partially lifted my guilt. Probably. However! I am still confused with this whole situation.

I really want to start on my assignment but it's IMPOSSIBLE! I don't know what to do first. Not just that I feel so lazy. All I want to do now is laze around and rest and SLEEP. Sadly enough, everyone keeps talking about it which makes my guilt even bigger. Start buying materials... Horaay -.-
I shall post my Digital Imaging work when I'm done :)

Okay I shall sign off now.
Toodles :)

What happened?

2009-10-19T23:08:00.003+08:00

Hello there.

I have come to realize that most guys or boys have the same ol' tactics.
Get to know the girl, be friendly to them, ask the girls questions (if they were fine, what they were doing, what are their interests, what do you hate, personal background) the girl would be the most important being in the planet and the most special too , then when they finally get the girl; everything seems to disappear and the girls would have to be accommodating or be forced to give full attention to the guys. That is when the ego comes and everything is a mess because the girls ego would rise as well. This causes fights and arguments. Sometimes when I think, it's a pity that guys or girls don't keep that constant attention or affection; the feeling of wanting that person so badly. Maybe increasing a bit but keeping it constant and fresh. That is the reason why they fall for that certain someone..

College time

2009-10-19T07:59:00.005+08:00

OFF To college :)
What a drag..
(Thank God I have my friends)

Foxay laday

2009-10-18T23:41:00.005+08:00

I feel like a sexy fox today. AHAH
okay.. don't mind me. I feel very happy all of the sudden :)
(Technically its a deer. )

Happy Anniversary

2009-10-18T11:19:00.004+08:00

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Its been a year already!

Artwork!

2009-10-15T19:24:00.007+08:00

I rarely talk about my work. As far as i know, I have never shown my artwork.
Well these are my most favourite.

This is my Digital Imaging class assignment. I did it till 4 in the morning.
Composition assignment.

Visual Narrative class
Card design for a New York Club

There's more but didn't save it in the computer.

Shall post about something else soon.

Toodles :)

Words from my head

2009-10-14T00:24:00.002+08:00

Hello.
Been super duper busy. I've never hated researching about Greece in my life! I would usually be quite enthusiastic with Greek culture. Anywayysss... Let me update my blog. It has been weeks so I shall write a lil' something for you guys.

Assignments are piling and I can feel the pressure slowly coming up to my brain and butt. Well I have my friends t0 be there for me. :)

Guess what?! My hair is finally red. It is red. Yes people red.
but for you information, it does not look like hayley paramore's hair, or however her name is spelled. I am quite satisfied but I'm not used to it yet. Soon, hopefully.
Not just that, I pierced my ear as well, with Dauz on his birthday.
Accidentally ate tuna and eggs so my ear is really swollen and red.

Recently, I went to Darul's open house and on the way to his house; I got lost in his area. So I stopped beside a house and ask for directions from anyone passing by my car. So this guy passed by all sweaty because of him jogging responded to my help. However, he didn't really help because he didn't know the directions as well. So here was how the conversation went:

Me : Hey, hello :) Do you know where (insert Darul's address) ?

Jogging Guy : Ouh, jalan *** hmmm.. I'm not sure. Probably turn right here * shows direction to the right.

Me : Ouh, alright. Well its ok then. Thanks anyways :)

Jogging guy : Ok. :)

Well that was quite a short and boring conversation but suddenly! When I found Darul's house I parked at the side and walked to his house then the dude passed by the house and waved; I waved back with a half smile. (My mistake)
When I came back, I saw a note that says.

Hello, I'm glad that you found your address. I hope that we can be friends
Here is my number; 017**** please call me or txt me.

Ouh joy. -.-
That dude really has some guts giving a stranger his number.

I realized that, I get so fed up with everything; I just need someone to understand me and be there for me. Rather then, talking about themselves and not giving a craps butt about what happened to me. Not just that, talking about things that are not appropriate to me. Sometimes I can't handle it but just to make everyone feel better; I will of course act like nothing happened. Sometimes I don't understand; do you think whenever you talk? and doesn't it sound unappropriate? I just don't get it. This makes me so frustrated.

Anyways, I watched National Geographic and they talked about the park loosing all the trees and shrubs and what caused it. The answer was the Wolves. In the 1930's they hunted all the wolves and exterminated them until that species of wolves were almost extinct. Then the tree's stopped growing and the shrubs as well. Then they brought wolves from Canada and then finally the tree's and other species started to reappear. That sounded great until the residents near that area started to complain because their sheep's were gone and dead; caused by the wolves. So this is not a win-win situation. It's either you loose or you win. If you're lucky of course.
I am sad that when something good comes out of it; then people start to make it worse by complaining and making that beneficial for them. I hate it when that happens.

I think I should stop here and continue posting something else sooner or later.
So i bid farewell.

Toodles :)

Questions and questions ..

2009-09-29T21:54:00.002+08:00

Hello hello, I just feel like writing something other than doing this folio of mine.
I know that as the years pass you will lose friends and gain friends. Just thinking about it makes me sad. I have some older friends that still stick close by me until now and haven't separated since. However there are some that I'm quite disappointed off and totally lost contact and act as if we have never existed. I might admit, I don't make calls or invite for a drink but they don't do that too. I don't want to be the only person doing everything. It sucks when you realize all of this happening. Thinking of all the good days and all the days of hanging out. It's like they totally forgot who you are back in the days of being close. I just miss all that.

Anyways, doing all this Islamic notes made me thinking. When my Ustazah is teaching me in class there are some things which I question. I don't want to create any havoc, I am curious myself actually. When she says woman's voices are like Aurat, we cannot sing in public. Even though, if it is a Nasyid. That means we can't even sing to praise to Allah. Am I right? Praising Allah to the public may mean that you are spreading islam to everyone. That doesn't sound bad does it? She says its a sin. Okay fine, but what is she doing? She is teaching the public isn't she? She is teaching Islam and she is a woman. So both doesn't add up. I am here confused and dumbfounded. Not jst that, I didn't know that making sculptures was a sin? My uncle is highly religious and he makes the best sculptures. It says that, it resembels god's creation and it is like making similarities with your capabilities with god. Sometimes some people don't have the intentions of questioning god's creation, sometimes they just like making something as a piece of artwork for other people to see their craftmanship. I know that Allah understands. I just don't get it and I didn't know. I'm just curious with question marks all over my head.

I should continue doing my work.

Toodles :)

I'm back

2009-09-26T12:47:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone. I haven't been updating my blog post for quite some time.
Well, It is Raya and I went back to my hometown at Perak, Kuala Kangsar. Supposedly 2 days but ended up being away from home for 5 days.
I was at my grandmother's house for the 1st day and went house to house on the 2nd.
Then, my mom and sister suddenly thought of going to Penang. Slept a night and the next day, we were hanging out at the beach and went for a dip at the pool.
We were on the banana boat and fell 3 times in the sea and thank god for the life jacket I would have drowned. The sea + me = not a good combo. The 3rd time on the boat I actually hanged on and didn't let go, I didn't realize at first but then my brother and everyone asked me to let go. I was publicly embarrassed, but it was quite hilarious. This raya was quite interesting, actually. We were staying beside the Hard Rock Hotel and I might say that, That hotel is really nice and every 3rd raya starting next year, we will be in Penang just relaxing and staying in the water. I can't wait :)

I don't know why, but whenever I come back from Penang, I always get sick or get food poisoning. I haven't recovered from it yet, but surely I will soon.
I want to relax and not think of anything, but I want to go out, but in a condition I am in now, I doubt my body would let me.
My class will be starting next Monday. I don't feel like going but I have no choice. I realized, I left my pencil case in college and my print making too. Hopefully those cleaners won't throw it. Hopefully. I still have to buy the print making equipment and start doing my box. :(
I hate this. I feel terrible and I have to do all this crap. Damn typography.

Well, I need to channel this in a healthy way and hopefully I'll have enough energy to do all this.

Wish me luck.

Toodles

Messed up plan

2009-09-13T10:45:00.003+08:00

Morning everyone.
As of today, this whole week would be hectic and stressful because of the amount of assignments I need to pass up by next week. I still have the print making which was not done last night. I couldn't find thinner and shalack. I'm not really sure with the spelling. Anyways, due to my stress I need my support system which is bailing out on me. I can't handle this situation really well by myself. I know I'll get over emotional and I won't be as hyper as before. Probably later this evening, I think I want to go to the park, release some tension in my body. Saying all this won't make anyone care, so why do I bother writing all of this? Anyways, I haven't done my english report, islamic studies folio, mood board, principle box, and print making. Damn. I think I should start on my english report now, it is due tomorrow. I really need someone now to make me feel better. :(

Toodles

Failure

2009-09-07T13:56:00.001+08:00

An image or word that reminds me of my college mates.

Paranoia

2009-09-03T23:32:00.002+08:00

Good evening/night?
Well, almost the whole class went an watched Final Destination 3d. Creepy and freaky and gory. Nothing special about the movie except the whole 3d effect. I mean, everyone died at the end, but there was one part in the movie, they were watching another 3d movie and ended up dying because somehow right behind the screen was this room and it exploded all of a sudden. So, almost all of us were paranoid and had images in our heads that the explosion will happen.

After the movie, Lawrence, Dadoo and I walked around Sunway Piramid and Lawrence suddenly felt a chill and felt something wet touching his finger. God forbid what kind of liquid sprayed on Lawrences fingers. Anyways, he told us and he crapped about the water is the cause of our death (in a joking manner) then ironically, we passed through the toilet then beside the toilet was a swimming attire shop. We were freaked out a bit and laughed all the way. All of us were paranoid after the movie, but it's slowly fading away. See how movies influence your thoughts and imagination.

Well, I'll have to sleep soon and read my Archie comic.

Toodles :)

Good habits

2009-09-02T10:15:00.003+08:00

Good morning fellow citizens. ahha
Starting from today onwards, I shall be more inspired with everything and work harder.
I had a slight thought that I fell down the pits for these couple of months and I'm bringing it back baby! Shall start my old good habits. That feeling of post-SPM has been sucked within my soul after numerous telephone calls from my boyfriend. That idea of doing everything and no one is stopping you, is seeping through me. I feel rejuvenated and ready to do whatever comes to me. I don't know exactly what made me have this though, but this is helping me loads! The old Liyana is coming back and that's for sure ;)
And my number one frenemy is procrastination.
ahhah

Well I need to take a bath, make the bed and do my work.

Shall post soon or not tomorrow.

Toodles :D

TO DO LIST

2009-09-01T16:08:00.004+08:00

Things to do ::

- Sleep
- Finish the VN work
- Finish the print making
- Start utilizing my sketch book
- Be Inspired!

TODAY

toodles :)

Tell me Whyy??!!!

2009-09-01T00:25:00.003+08:00

Today will be my almost last day of shopping. I just need a black sleek clean cut blazer. Just to make my outfit look better :)

I bankrupted my mothers credit card. I bought a lot a lot of stuff. I bought: 4 tops, 1 tee shirt, 1 dress, 1 pair of jeans, 1 pair of leggings, 2 pair of shoes, 1 necklace, and my favourite; sequined black jacket. :D

Yeah, and I'm buying a blazer with my own money of course. Pity my mom and sister. I don't shop like this often. Only if I have the chance and I took yesterday and today for granted.

I realized, if I step into a mall, which is just OU actually; my hands would linger around and press the sanitizing liquid to make my hands look spick and span.

Anyways, what I wanted to say was that. My level of procrastination is going up the roof and it's going haywire. I have to stop doing all this. I have to start doing my work and finish them on time. I have an assignment due tomorrow and I haven't started a single thing! Well, I'm doing as much as I can and try to make an excuse for tomorrow. Then, finish my work. Hopefully people around me will encourage me to make me work harder.

I'm signing off, taking a bath then do some of my work then sleep.

Toodles :)

Past and Future

2009-08-31T01:14:00.004+08:00

Hey,
I went shopping with my family. Crazy I might say, but worth a buy. I am satisfied. Well, 80%
I just need those jeans and jacket. :)

Anyways, this has been running through my mind for months and months. I respect those whom are in a relationship but work out and be just fine with each other. I am saying as in, they act the same way as when they first saw each other. I regret making mistakes but I just miss everything. That glow and spark we had. Can old flames rekindle once it is blown out? I hope so. I love him more than I can imagine, I have done so many things with him and it has been great because I love spending time with him every time. I know there will be time where we'll argue and disagree with most things, but I remember us being juts fine. I thought of, why? How? I feel stupid because some thing can just happen so quickly and I wouldn't know how to react. I can say that both of us changed and some of it isn't a good change. Both of us realized that because that was what made us fight. It's because of the change. I hate change, I think we should have maintained the way we were and never changed. I'm saying change too much already. -.-
I wish I could turn back time OR forward time so we can be happy together.I want that beat in my heart beating 80km/h or my face turning red or my feet not touching the ground. Is it because I'm too comfortable with him? I do feel those, but not all the time. Hopefully, after both of us aren't occupied with our studies, we can be like the way we were. I'm just saying that I miss that so much. I even miss him right now. I am even thinking of me being really needy and selfish at this moment. Why do I even think all this?

This post was a bit too touchy. I don't know, stress has gotten me in my head I guess.
I want to sleep soon. Soo

Toodles

Glorious Friday

2009-08-28T15:30:00.003+08:00

Evening peeps!
August is ending soon and I had a load of dramatic episodes this whole month.
Anyways, I learned from it and I'll change whatever needs to be changed.

I realized, after not servicing my car and it is overdue; it is making weird noises and the speaker is sort of broken. I need to take care of that car. I've been leaving it and it is dirty, but I have to find a long hose though..

After my Islamic studies, I thought of wasting time but ended up making myself even more bored. I went to the library with naqib, intending to use the computer then after an hour he went out so he left me alone. At that moment, I had never felt that foreign in my college ever. There was this one group beside me, talking so loud and i think they were international students? I felt so uncomfortable and awkward , but to think of it; one of the group member was a tad bit too close to my chair and placing his hands at my table. Felt like pushing his hand down. Anyhoo, I went to the locker to get my bag then I forgot I left my sketchbook under the table. Went back to the computer lab with my gigantic bag and accidentally hit the computer down and it fell. The room was suddenly quiet as if you could hear a pin needle drop. I was and am beyond embarrassed and I said sorry too much but he didn't respond. I tried to walk as fast as I could after that incident. Hated the whole situation.
I think I embarrass myself too much.

I think my hormones are excessively flooding in my system. I feel : insecure, uncomfortable, emotional, tired, sweaty and fat. Darn these feelings. Imagine if I'm pregnant, I think it'll be gazillion as worse. Well, I just watched Labour pains and it is hilarious but quite cliche at some point. So I suddenly thought of pregnancy. I don't think i'll be ready even if i'm 30! or not, i'm not sure.

OUH yeah! You should watch this show. Darul had introduced me too. It is called.....

Salad Fingers!

Its really creepy and funny. Well you be the judge of it. There are 8 episodes all together.
So this is episode 1.

Well signing off!

Toodles :)

Nursery

2009-08-23T11:13:00.006+08:00

Good Morning :)
I am really shocked with the amount of people reading my blog. I am really happy though. :)
I remembered making sure everyone didn't know my blog existed but then my friends found it somehow and linked me. So I accepted the fact to make posts and knowing that people from any country would read it. Anyways, I am happy it reached to a few thousand! Double Triple Gazillion SHOCK! :O
So thank you :)

Anyways, I just finished my Typography assignment and its about making a nursery rhyme book. This may sound easy, but it isn't. Anyhoo, due to researching for the cutest nursery rhyme, I have realized that most nursery rhymes are just WHACK. For instance, rock-a-bye-baby. If you read it carefully, the baby is in the cradle and at the end the cradle fell from a tree and the cradle broke. So conclusion? The baby died. Okay, another example, Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum! The giant wants the break the Englishmen bones to make his bread. How freaky is that?! Little Miss Muffet is really teaching children to be scared of spiders. One more, Three blind mice, the lady practically cut off the rats tail with a knife.
So from now on, I don't think i'll be singing these songs to my children.

It's almost a week since puasa started, so far so good. No misses, YET. However, this is helping me change myself back to what I was and making me be a better person.
This saturday is the lelong lelong bazaar, I shall go there with Dauz and I am ready to shop for new items for my closet :)

I feel like picking up where I left off. Probably, start playing the guitar again and the piano. Using the dslr more often, start speaking french more often again, be more passionate with my work, start dressing up a bit, take care of myself. I should I should.
What do you think?

Well that is the end of my post.
Toodles :)

Day ONE

2009-08-22T17:32:00.004+08:00

What up homies?! XD
Today is the 1st day of bulan Ramadhan, and I shall utilize this day to the fullest. Hopefully. Well this past few days wasn't that 'great' but I feel better now. My assignments are slowly piling up and I am procrastinating by the day and I think I have gold fish disease. Anyways, yesterday I went to college and we were studying Islamic Studies, I wore my baju kurung because Darul was wearing his baju melayu then since it was the last day before puasa starts I thought of eating a lot but I failed. haaha
I went to the cafe near block B then by 11.30 I went to fetch Dauz and he was wearing baju melayu too, ironically. While waiting for Dauz, Shaira saw me first and it had been months since my last meet up with her. Missed hanging out. I went to Subang Parade, supposedly to eat but ended up drinking Oreo Shake. Met Reena, Yi-vonne, Gordon and Renna's friends at secret recipe. We went back to Dauz's house by 2 then we hung out, I learned Boston on his keyboard then played a few songs then we watched Almost famous.
That night, I went to Shaira's Aunties House for a dinner/ farewell dinner for Adel. Talked to Shaira and while watching I survived a Japanese TV Show on 8TV; I slept.

That's it really, quite boring.
Shall write something more interesting next time.
Well, a few more hours to buka puasa. My first day of fasting D.O.N.E :)

Toodles :)

Today?

2009-08-18T21:32:00.003+08:00

Today was quite okay?
I came to college around 10 plus and met ezreena at the library, saw her doing her so called 'three' ducks. Then we walked around. We tried finding the student lounge, we failed AT FIRST. Then, we managed to find it. They have a piano, a guitar, a foosball table and a tv with a few chairs and sofas. Cool ain't it. Played the guitar, but forgot all the songs, except one. ahaha.
Learned a new song from ezreena on the piano and tried a few songs that I remembered. Then played foosball. That will be the first and last time this month. Unless someone wants to pay for it of course ;)
I am in a 'saving' mode. I have been spending a lot, but Saturday is not an option to not spend :p we had class and my work was approved by Mr. Ken. Went back home then Voila! I am blogging now.

It has been 3 days? Mtv World Stage has ended and people are still talking about it. Well it must have been great. I do regret not going because I had the greatest opportunity that was in front of my stupid face, but I did not take full advantage of it. Sigh... Kasabian performed. KASABIAN performed. I seriously hope that they will come again. PLEASE! I have that feeling of, in-your-face-i-went-to-MTV-and-you-didn't. I feel like punching their faces. I sound like I need anger management, I do feel envious, but what can I do? It passed and I missed the whole event. Pity pity.

Well, so far I used twitter and reading twitter from celebrities are quite fascinating. I don't know, it is slowly growing on me. Well, it is similar to updating your status on facebook with a little twist. Ya'know?
Anyways, I thought of so many things to write but I still can't remember it until now.
I need to get rid of this gold fish memory.

Toodles :)

Cooperate PEOPLE!

2009-08-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

Hey hey,
I just came back from a futsal game.
Anyways, my housing area (Jalan Datuk Sulaiman) started a group called JDS. Every lane has their own group. JDS, JDS 3 and JDS 4. My lane, JDS 4 has residents whom do not want to cooperate and act like little kids. The reason why JDS started a group was because, we started using security guards after numerous house break-ins and robbery. So, JDS thought of hiring security guards to handle the situation. Of course, there were some procedures and everyone had to pay. However, some residents did not want to cooperate and start harrasing the JDS group mail. Spamming the inbox using vulgar language, not just that, making childish names and sueing the committee. There is a reason why the group discussed on using a security guards. It was for our own safety and there had been too many cases; I could say I am one of them. It would be a hassle for visitors to come because they would have to register and stop at the guard house, but it's for our own good. I don't understand why they don't get that.

Well, I am signing off, i smell really bad. :S

Twitter

2009-08-17T19:49:00.001+08:00

I have a twitter account. Never thought I'd do it. Seriously. -.-

Sunday blues

2009-08-16T12:26:00.002+08:00

Here goes a pessimistic Sunday..
I can't deal the fact that after numerous discussions, the mistake repeats itself again and again and again. I hate that, it feels like a lie. It feels like I am no more important. I see it as if I am just a toy with extremely imbalanced hormones with excessive emotions. I feel so weak. I feel so stupid. I feel so lonely. Gosh.. This is just sad. Its so pathetic.

2009-08-16T00:24:00.001+08:00

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

2009-08-15T00:18:00.000+08:00

I REGRET

Decisions decisions

2009-08-14T18:47:00.002+08:00

Hey people,
excited for tomorrow? I bet some of you guys are and I am talking about Mtv World Stage. I was surprised at the last minute, miracles started to happen. My cousin offered free tickets and my friend Daryoosh had extra tickets which was about Rm150 and Ezreena wanted to give her ticket too. Sadly to say, I turned all of them down. I had a few reasons.
Numero Uno : The line will be extremely long and I would have to wait there for a few hours to get in. Second : It will be very packed and I wouldn't be able to breath. Trois : I bet there will be sick people somewhere in the crowd. Fourth : I want to watch Kasabian ONLY; so it's as good as wasting my time there. Fifth : I have other plans that might or might NOT happen. So to make my life easier, I decided to not go. Hopefully, I won't regret this decision I made.

My brain is malfunctioning and it is not working that well. Stupid typo. I am out of ideas. Most of the pages are the same images composed at different corners or angles.

My new neighbour whom is living right behind my house, has a dog. A cute one actually, but they're not taking of him/her that well. It barks every time and when it rains, it'll be soaking wet and it'll bark even more. Not just that, they chain him/her, even though the dog is at the back. No freedom at all. I pity the dog, if only I can help. :(

CONCLUSION OF THE DAY:
I miss my dad :(

Conversations

2009-08-13T23:47:00.002+08:00

I watched 3 movie's this August.
but I liked Conversation with Other Women.

It's about this old lovers and 'ironically' they met at a wedding. At the beginning, they looked like strangers wanting a one night stand, but then after a few more minutes, you finally get that they knew each other 10 years ago. I liked the way the movie was shot. It was 2 different shots side by side, relating to each other somehow. At the end, it connected. So that means, the whole 1 hour plus, has 2 different shots side by side. It was mainly shot in the hotel. Focusing just the two of them. Both loved each other deeply because of their past history but both of them moved on, and has a husband with 2 children which is actually his and he has a girlfriend. They did take it to the next level during the night but that did not decide them to stay together. At the end, they split up eventually. It was a one day shot.
I liked it somehow. The sarcasm, the jokes was entertaining.

Hair People

2009-08-13T19:15:00.003+08:00

Hello there,
I actually have loads to write about, but I remember only 50% of it.
Anyways, recently I've been going to this salon called cuckoo? (If I'm not mistaken) quite often.
Meaning twice in 2 weeks? but of course I washed my hair once and the other trip was to follow my friend cut her NEW & AWESOME haircut :)
I stumbled upon a hair washer, and talked to him. However, it felt like an unprofessional and an uncomfortable vibe. The first trip was fine, felt very I'm-talking-to-a-hair-washer-vibe. Then the other trip was a biiiit fishy. Let me re-play the conversation

(After saying Hello and asking how we were)
Hair Washer said: Kenapa tak nak cuci rambut?
Liyana said: Tak de duit la, my mom gave me only Rm50 for this WHOLE week for everything.
Hair Washer said: Alaaah, boleh pinjam duit from me maa.
Liyana said: What?! Buat apa. *With a shocked face
Hair Washer said: Kenapa mak kamu tak nak pinjam dari Ah Long?
**I merely said, I don't trust an Ah Long
Liyana said: Tak Nak lah
** Before I wanted to say I didn't trust an Ah Long
Hair Washer said: Saya Ah Long maa, boleh pinjam dari saya. Boleh pinjam Rm 50 sekarang?
Liyana said: tak pe tak pe tak pe.
**Then I tried to ignore him due to feeling of uncomfortable -ness from the whole situation

After a few days, we bumped into him at Chanai at SS15. I didn't want to be rude, so I smiled and waved at him.

Yi vonne and I were eating and talking. Then he interupted us by asking both of us if we could go out to a club with him that night. My answer, without a doubt was a NO. I said no a couple of times, but he kept asking me again and again. I gave him so many excuses, but somehow he was stubborn. Then he said, if anything I'll contact you. At that time, I didn't remember giving him my phone number or e-mail and I was sure about it. Then I forgot, I signed up the registration form to get discounts whenever I want to cut or wash my hair. Plus, my address was there too. Damn.. :S

To top it off, I told My boyfriend. Mr. Dauz the whole thing and he is pissed. He wants to burn the salon. Which I find it cute. :)

PS: I'm not trying to be so 'bangga' right now. I know How you feel okay?? and mine is triple gazzillion worse than yours.

The only reason why I wrote this was that, if you work for the salon, sometimes its best if you keep it as a client relationship. I don't feel that it is professional to ask girls out to a club and you don't even KNOW them. It doesn't really show a good side of you. In a way. Well, I don't like it. It feels extremely bizzare for me.
-Don't compare Jessica Simpson and her hairdresser. That's different.

I wanted to write more, but it seems that this post is really long. I think I'll write it on my next blog post. Soo...

Toodles :)

2009-08-11T18:40:00.002+08:00

I need money and I'm hungry
Falling money and burgers in the air is fine :)

Confessions

2009-08-09T14:13:00.002+08:00

Hey there,

No hope going to the Mtv world stage, not enough tickets sold. I wanted to, just because Kasabian will be performing. Love their songs; its fantabulous. I'll miss another band that I like. Well, I never have luck when it comes to these events. So I shoudn't bother trying. So I will be having a dull August, not going out for Merdeka either. I'll probably stay at home. I'm not sure about that. I think I am just boring. Urrrghhhh, I hate myself for that.

I feel that, I am indirectly pressured to loose weight. I want to, it's not that I want to be fat. I feel awful, but my conscience forces me not to eat, which I do not support at all. This brings me down and I feel that people might think that excess weight is equivalent to someone whom does not have the beauty outside. Get what I mean? It's true that it is best to have the beauty inside, but to me being fat or oversized shouldn't be uncomfortable with their own self. Most men would say, you are beautiful on the outside (to a more thinner person) but when they are oversized they wouldn't really say that. If they are oversized living in a healthy lifestyle, it's better than being stick thin living unhealthy. However, I still feel uncomfortable with myself around anyone.

I hate being compared to anyone. Especially, comparing my flaws. I don't like the feeling of being compared materialistically, I am not rich, I am not an "anak datuk". I may have a title but it does not mean I have to show it to the world to announce my status. I do not even have a status and I am partly equal with anyone, anywhere. There are times where I spend on a few things or food but I don't show off and brag to everyone. Sometimes I'm happy getting those things and I want to share my happiness with some of my friends but there are certain limits where it sounds like I purposely make you jealous. I don't want that and I actually don't like that. I don't get people, bragging about everything. It's good that you're proud of yourself but it does have that in-your-face vibe and a I'm-better-than-you vibe too. What about a bit of modesty? That will be perfect.

My mom found out, I took money out of the ATM and I was busted. Well it was for the car, food and parking. I take out maximum Rm200 and not more than that. Well I can never get away with anything when it comes to my mother.

I was thinking.. how lazy and boring I am, is killing the people around me because I'm no fun. It's not that I planned to do that, I'm just tired and bored with what I do. I don't have that quirkiness. Actually, I was like this since I was a kid; my little nieces and nephew's would make me play games that I loath and I end up giving up at the end and disappointing them. Even if they asked me to play games that I like, I'll play for 5 minutes, then I'll stop or if they ask me to go run around with them, my answer will always say NO. I guess this is happening without me realizing.

Now.. What do you think about me?

Signing off...

Toodles

My thoughts at 7.16pm

2009-08-07T18:55:00.002+08:00

Hey there,
I remembered those cam-whoring days. I still do that, but occasionally. I did that quite often actually. Every minor thing that I did, I MUST take a picture of myself. How vain can I get. No offense to anyone out there. To think of it, I rarely use the camera. I seem to be more lazy by the minute.

I can't control the need of being pessimistic and thinking everything will turn wrong and will go against me. Although some of those things are direct and true, I still overreact or get emotional too fast. Even that, I still need the comfort from my loved ones and respect. Understand how I am. Its hard to not think about it. I can forget about it for a week or so, but it'll come back. As what my mom said "The girls in our family are strong and dominant, and we can go through any obstacles". Well I hope that's true.

This August, my friends and I are planning on a day trip to Perak. Probably go to Kellie's Castle. They say its haunted and I am bringing my camera, that's for sure! The trip will probably be on the 20th. AND on the 29th of August.

We are going shopping! I am buying lots of items. Can't wait! Thank god its near my college.
We'll go there after digital imaging :D

Today, we didn't have class, due to the absence of my ustazah or ustaz. I am not sure, because they have never attended to any classes. Anyways, I ate a lot today. Yi vonne, Reena, Yi vonnes friends, their respective boyfriends and me ate at papa rich. It was expensive like hell. After that, Reena followed me to Pyramid to buy some things for Dauz. We sat at McD and ordered 2 milkshakes. Made the packet in 30min plus decorating and putting the things in. I bought voodoo beaded necklace with a 'sort of' matching earing that he did not have. Let's say it was a start over again gift. Went to his house and gave him the packet. Then, I went back at 5.

I guess I need a rest, and I need to sleep early today. I have to wake up early in the morning so that, I get a good computer seat tomorrow for digital imaging.

Toodles :)

Old flames rekindle

2009-08-05T11:21:00.001+08:00

I want this when I grow old.

Sick Homo Sapien

2009-08-05T10:00:00.002+08:00

I can't stand the heat and the haze. Its terrible. I'm not feeling that well and I'm assuming it's not H1N1. I had difficulty breathing and my head was spinning and it felt heavy.
Even though I'm sick, I still feel it isn't right not going to college. I have Tech English and Visual Narratives. Damn I'll miss my first class of english with our new lecturer. Well, I think I should eat something before I faint.

Toodles.

Bonding

2009-08-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

Every relationship isn't perfect. You can never have that Cinderella moment every second. I am going through so many obstacles, I always get stuck in between alone and usually end up feeling depressed or useless. I can't deny that I knew this was happening but I blindly went into it and expected no flaws. I was wrong and stupid. I have my ups and my downs, it's just confusing. The feeling of me being the dragon and him being the normal one kept me thinking. Why do I have such temper? I never had that during the early years. I can't control it, it comes naturally and eventually feeling guilty at the end. I don't shout and scream, but I become emotional and moody. It looks like I'm expecting too much. My boyfriend has his exams coming up, so everyone insists on telling me to give in for this few months. Of course, I shall follow it. Probably I'll shed some tears, my heart feeling fragile, as if it will break anytime soon. I think too much.. I ask advice from my friends and most of them tell me its not my fault and I should tell him about how I feel. I mean that is the right solution but It's better to keep it and let it go. It'll be very hard for me, but I am forced to do such actions. Sometimes, I want to be the girl in the relationship. As in fully 100% girl, being such that he becomes the gentlemen. Dream on... I am so confused, sometimes I'll stop and think, Should I act this way? This happens most of the time. This is when I go to my friends and ask for help. My friends are really there for me, I'm really happy that they are there to support me in any way.
Would you agree, that you would want to start all over again and reverse time to regain back those days with no problems and you would act so lovey dovey in front of everyone without feeling disgusted? I would, sometimes when I'm out with him, I want that to happen; but it looks so impossible. I love him to the fullest, I love him everyday; but I struggle whenever something happens and I wouldn't know what to do. I'll be so scared making the wrong decisions. I am sacrificing my time, my love, my trust and my patience for him at the moment. I should let him go. His choice to not be with me and choose his friends if he has to make himself more relaxed. I'm out of ideas to make this work. It is not as bad as it sounds, but somehow it's mentally challenging me. Ouh well...

OFF DOING A HAIKU.

Toodles.

2009-07-28T01:12:00.002+08:00

CONCLUSION OF THE DAY:
I Just Knew That, Lotus is owned by Proton.
(Siapa yang tak tau, jgn buat2 tau) AHAH

Skin and Mouth

2009-07-26T19:06:00.002+08:00

Hello all,
Today is a Sunday..
I'm starting my second semester tomorrow. I have checked my schedule and I have class on Saturday :(
I have 4 hours of Digital Imaging on a Saturday. Can't it get any worse.
Hope my second semester is great

Recently, I bumped into so many whitening cream advertisements. I do not know why people are not happy with their skin colour. Minus the pores, white heads, black heads, pimples, etc.... but everyone wants to change their skin colour. People whom have lighter skin want a more tanner tone and those who have darker skin wants lighter tones. I understand if it's uneven but if you have a natural skin colour, dark or light; you should embrace it no matter what. In Malaysia, it is rare for a commercial advertising a tanning lotion or spray; but whitening cream/ facial wash; a lot of people would actually buy it. It's like you're being a prejudice to yourself. You don't accept your skin colour or probably you're uncomfortable or unhappy with your skin colour. We were born that way. This is my point of view of what I think about people wanting to be fairer or tanner but I am relatively dark but I'm ok with it. I don't care if you use 10 different types of whitening cream, that's your problem; but I'm just saying that you should be proud with your own skin.

Anyhoo... This morning I went to Ica's sister's wedding, Met my old school mates. Missed them to bits! Talked and I sent Yan home after a long talk about how unhappy we were for the Ministry of Education changing Science and Math from English to Malay. Well I think that decision is STUPID. English is a world-known language, it is easier to communicate with other people from other countries. Probably they think that talking more malay would make us more nationalistic or whatever; but it would make the younger generations be the exact same. Even if you learn Malay in secondary or primary school you STILL have to learn Math and Science in english in the college (if you take courses that need those subjects)
I don't know why does it matter learning math and science in malay. It is a waste of time. Most reference books are in english. You have to try your best to learn english and not be stubborn. I don't know..

Well I'm just yapping to much. Signing off...

Toodles :)

Danced till the Night away

2009-07-24T12:24:00.004+08:00

Good morning for those who had just woke up, like me :)
Starting my second semester next Monday; Happy yet sad. Not enough rest and 'holiday' for me.
Met my colleagues in the past few days and we were planning our July Intake lunch orientation. Thank god for the good respond from our 'juniors'. Well I bet most of them are older than me, but I am just metaphorically saying. I visualize a good year for me throughout this whole course. AHAH

Well yesterday I went out with the girls. Had gotten approval from my mother, my sister and my boyfriend. So I went out guilt free. :)
The first place we wanted to go to was MOS but we had some problems and it was bloody packed. Even though it was ladies night, there was quite a lot of dudes walking in.
Then we went to coco banana. Less people, but the songs weren't that great. Met a few of our college mates, hung out with them. Danced till the night away..
At 11.30 something, they had really bad performances. The singing was just ouh kay but after that, they had this group of performers. They were literally having sex on the dance floor. Sick much. They weren't even good at dancing, there was no originality. They had cages with ropes for them to play, wore slutty clothes and the dudes took off their shirts.
Not just that, they looked like shedicks and guygina's.
Sorry for my vulgar language but I wasted 30 minutes waiting for the music to come back.
Thank god it was free.

Anyways, I need to take a bath.
Signing off..
Toodles :)

2009-07-21T00:32:00.001+08:00

CONCLUSION OF THE DAY:
I Suck at Futsal, but Working on it.

What is on my mind at 11.53am

2009-07-20T11:22:00.002+08:00

I remembered the list of things I wanted to do after my Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia had ended. I had failed to accomplish even 50%. I can probably say that the longer it is, I crave for something different. I prefer lazing around and hanging out with my mates. I had high expectations of myself, to think of it; it is quite unethical. I know myself and I know that at some point, I will still be the same person 18 years ago. Not as a kid, but being lazy and procrastinating. I wonder what I do late at night. I don’t get enough sleep, I am tired most of the time. I have class, I have outings but that’s just it. Not including the renovation and all but I am not doing anything valuable. Most likely, I'll write a whole essay saying how to turn over a new leaf. I don't know the whole purpose of that now.

Anyways, there are too many network sharing websites; it's being a bit overrated. They are literally copying each other and loosing its originality. There is no fun in adventuring something new and figuring out how it works. BUT without it, I'll be bored to death. So, hopefully the websites can reinvent something original and make everyones time worthwhile.

$$Money$$ is so stupid. I am broke and I have no money to eat. I depend on it too much. I have to manage my money wisely. Eat cheaper food and no shopping, don't go out so much. I spend about Rm65 just for gas. Sigh.. disadvantage of driving.

Well I have nothing else to write..

Signing off...

Toodles :)

Empty

2009-07-17T18:56:00.003+08:00

by: ffffound

Hey people,
So far I have been driving for about 5 months perhaps?
Convenient cause I have a car, Stressful cause of the stupid drivers on the road, Tiring cause I drive to college E.V.E.R.Y.D.A.Y and it's about 30km distance from home to college.
LDP sucks, Federal is okay, but when you are in PJ the lorries park right next to the damn road.
I have increased my swearing skills. From 40% to 100%. I am serious.

Anyways.. home has been in a stable condition. Thank god. I was scared for a moment there, the house was in 'red zone' mode. Mom hasn't been happy, but she's fine now :)

I actually have nothing to write here, wasting my time and your time. so well signing off...

Toodles :)

Chest fest

2009-07-16T21:31:00.005+08:00

This morning when I was walking to the Gallery. This one stranger looked at my chest and said "HI" to it. Feeling so disrespected this morning made me thinking.
I mean Strangers, people whom I do not even know focus more on something that they shouldn't really focus on. It feels like they don't take girls seriously and look at the surface only. I mean "Men" , some of them cannot resist their desire. I know that. Girls are the same in a way but I am more focusing on men.
If you know me, not based on how I look and judge me by my character, its fine by me.
Boys will be boys.
All I am saying, first impressions are very important. So don't look at a girls chest and say HI to it. Some girls wouldn't mind, but I do. Its demeaning women. I hate that.

Change of topic. You should check this out.

It's quite cool because he seems to "enjoy" dancing but at the end; Everyone joined him and enjoyed themselves. I didn't think anyone would respond to his dancing. Bizarre but quite cool actually.

He made my day :)

Signing off..

Toodles :)

Random day as a Tourist

2009-07-16T20:46:00.004+08:00

Today was the most random day ever.
Woke up in the morning, contemplating whether to go to college or not.
I went of course, then after a 'drive' to SS15, I went back to college for the Cuban exhibition.
Went back to SS15 with Reena and Jin and ate some SUBWAY sandwich!
Let me describe the sandwich I had ate :

" 6-inch Toasted Parmesan Oregano with seafood and crab. Together with Lettuce, Cucumber and Cheese, PLUS mayonnaise, BBQ sauce, vinegar and olive oil with lots and lots of pepper. "

My mouth feels watery even thinking about it.
Anyways, I thought of going back to campus and head back home. Instead, we thought of becoming a tourist for the day.
First Destination :
Went to Taman Rama-Rama (Butterfly Park)
Snapped a few pictures here and there. Saw so many, let me exaggerate that. SO MANY dead butterflies. Some were eaten by ants, some were stepped on, some were just dead lying on the soil. It really was an interesting and nice experience nevertheless.

Second Destination :
Tugu Negara
Snapped more pictures and bought ice cream on the way up. We tried to read jawi but failed to do so. Instead, we crapped about the writing. Sat near the fountain, was sprayed by the water; felt refreshing though. :p

So yes, holding the DSLR around those places felt like I wasn't a Malaysian. PLUS having no clue about those places added more 'touristic' features to myself. :)

Going there, Jin drove us and I discovered two bricks at the back seat of his car. I kept wondering what it was for. So me and Reena started saying loads of shit about it. Hilarious I tell you. I'm still thinking until now and it has been more than 5 hours. Hmm..???

We ended the day with "refreshing refreshments" at this new kopitiam shop near my campus. Rm4 for a simple lime juice. Greaaaaat..... -.-
To summarize it all.
That was my day. It was F.U.N.

So I shall write something else in another post.

So for now..
Toodles :)

2009-07-15T23:50:00.003+08:00

Ciggies, Fags, Cigarette : Smoke

Well through experience, I know smoking is bad. Black lungs, Retarded throat, Yellow Teeth .. Yada yada yada.
I'm against smoking, although I have tried a few but it was just out of curiosity and nothing more. Some people are addicted and are chained to it, but there are some where they tried and smoked for a while but stopped for the sake of their health.
Well, I don't have anything against smokers, not at all, but I hate those that disrespect people who don't smoke and blow it to their faces.
It doesn't matter, if you smoke or not, you are responsible for your own body and health. All I can do is give advice and give help and support, but the rest is your effort not mine.
I have a few friends that stopped smoking a long time ago, but pity that they had to start back due to stress and work pressure. Anyways, there are so many people out there, that smoked in the past and sworn to never smoke again and held to that promise until they died.
My dad was one of them, stopped when he met my mother. Good for him. :)
Well, I'm not sure myself, but I hope stopping smoking is an easy task to do. The addiction may be strong but if you have the will to stop, you can definitely stop. I know that as a fact.
Some people I know, are stubborn and stupid. They say that they are NOT addicted but insist on smoking every time he/she has the chance. That is a pure hypocrite.
Well, all and all hopefully people should realize smoking is never the answer to a solution. You should also never start smoking with the desire to smoke forever.
Anyhoo, smoke if only it's the only answer to help. Don't smoke with no reason.
I guess I'm just worried.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Am I right?

Signing off..
Toodles :)

2009-07-12T20:01:00.002+08:00

CONCLUSION OF THE DAY:
I SWEAR LIKE A MACHINE GUN

Sundown

2009-07-12T13:02:00.003+08:00

Some things that were quite obvious and made me realize was that you should never wait for anyone. You'll just end up disappointing yourself. Another one is that, something similar to the one before. Don't keep your hopes up.
I know this isn't really a good advice, but having low expectations helps. It may be quite depressing, but once it happens, you already know how it feels. If it's the other way around, you'll be double as happy than before.
I'm not really in a good mood to give happy good blogs so probably it's quite depressing to read.
Well today, I heard that my friends cousins cat died, and my distant cousin passed-away.
Not something you want to hear once you wake up in the morning. I used to call Sunday a happy day, but I don't know what happened. Things changed I supposed. I guess from today onwards, it's a myday; Probably after my mom goes out, I'll go somewhere and have lunch. I'm not that hungry, but I really have nothing to do. I don't want to disturbs anyone's sunday, so I'll just go. No waiting right?
Curve sounds like a nice place, or probably Bangsar. Retail therapy would do the trick, something that would rub off this stupid feeling that I'm having.
Sigh.. It's just depressing to even write. I don't even know what is wrong with me, or probably I do.
off I go, I hope time flies fast.

Toodles.

Gallery artsy fartsy

2009-07-11T11:20:00.005+08:00

FINALLY! I'm back to blogging.
Telekom cut my line so I was unable to use the internet. Gaaaah! All I did was watch tv, sleep and spray baygon all over my house.
Anywayysssss... Since it's TOO late to 'promote' my class art exhibition, might as well just give you the whole detail on what happened :)
It started this Monday, so with very low expectations, we started pasting our artworks at the very last minute. We wouldn't have thought that people might have come to check out our exhibition.
However, we managed to finish everything before 12, well 12:15?
We opened the glass door with a sigh and waited for people or customers to come.
After 1 minute, the gallery was flooded with students and office workers and parents. We were MORE than schocked. I was explaining the artwork, following people around.
Human beings were pouring into our gallery until Friday, but of course it didn't beat the Monday crowd. All of us were satisfied and very proud because a lot of people were congratulating our work and some of them wanted to BUY them :O (double triple shocked)
I was happy that people looked at my artwork too :)

Probably I'll upload some picutres. PROBABLY.
On the same day, There was a moth.
A very big and I'm assuming an old moth?
Well I was very fond of that moth and it was stuck with me till it died.
It had no energy and it was resting on the palm of my hand.
I know it's weird, very weird, but it was a very nice and furry moth.
Anyways, Reena, Yi-vonne and I buried it at the small garden at college. Did a small funeral for it. Pity the moth, it survived for only 2 days in the gallery :(

I actually had A LOT to write, but I seriously don't remember anything.
Damn the internet, why must I be so dependent on you.

Well, my idea will come soon.. so signing off!

Toodles :)

2009-07-05T22:21:00.002+08:00

CONCLUSION OF THE DAY:
An empty stomach will make you feel dizzy

Yap yap

2009-07-05T13:51:00.002+08:00

Hey people!
I guess I woke up on the right side of the bed. I feel cheery and bouncy... ahha
It's been a while. :)

I think Facebook has too many game applications and It is so tempting to play. I have already reached to the point where I'm 40% addicted to the game. Well I think I type faster now. ahah

AAAAAAND

I have officially shifted EVERYTHING to my new temporary house. This house is quite small compared to my old house, I can't fit most of my furniture here. I feel thankful that I live in a house like that and THANK GOD that there is internet connection here. (actually taking it from my old house and stole the connection) :D
Anyways, there's progress and can see the extension at the back and the floor is already cemented. I can't wait for the final results.
For 2 months, I have to sleep like a mummy and squish all three of us on the queen sized bed.
Definitely prone to accidents. Well at least we took the plasma and placed it in the room. So I see gigantic heads before I sleep. ahha

Well I'm just blabbering and yapping all the way. I just wanted to waste my time typing while waiting for my energy and health and stamina to regain. :p

Soo probably I'll write another post soon

Toodles :)

Drama

2009-07-02T20:01:00.002+08:00

I remembered all the "drama's" that happened in high-school. Absolutely stupid. I wondered why we bothered fighting especially in school. Groups, Backstabbers, Bitches, "Boycotter" , Ass Kissers.. and the list goes on...
So far, these problems haven't come to pass in college yet. I'm not hoping for one. God forbid it from repeating history.
I bet it's still happening in high-school. Probably it's meant to happen.
I rememberd people telling me that they read something or saw a picture which was quite disrespectful and insensitive but to think of it, the way we handled the situation was immature.
I remembered seniors and juniors condemning us, technically I wasn't really included in the whole situation but more of a passenger that got hit along.
I think everyone shouldn't really be in groups and naming it; that'll make the problem even worse.
Well hope this doesn't happen anymore.

Anyways, my house is under renovation and it's a MESS I tell you. Dirty, dusty floors. I moved in another house which is just opposite mi casa and I'm living beside a guy that is overly obsessed with plants. The house is covered with tree's and it literally looks like a jungle. I will occasionally take a peek at the back and let me tell you this. At night, the jungle looks freakishly scary. He owns a few birds and cats, 3 of each I think and it REEKS of shit and odour. Even with his 'weird' habits and interests, he has a wife and a son. A very cute small son actually. The wife is very friendly and aplogizes to us whenever the husband does something bizzare or whatever. The wife would also aknowledge anyone around the neighbourhood. I guess there's something in him that attracts her. In a way, you can't judge a book by its cover. Am I right?
It's been 4 days since the renovation started and my mom is PISSED because according to her, NO ONE ever helped her. Well honestly, I don't help enough. I do help but because of college (I'm not blaming) I don't have the time because by the time I get back it's 5; but I try to help and sometimes without realizing I accidently sleep on the couch. Well I should, starting tomorrow. I make my mom happy AND burn some of those fats hanging around my mid-section ahah.
I'm pressured cause of my whole family yapping everday and waking up in the morning to go to college and there's usually NOTHING to do.
Thank god my friends are there to keep me insane. haha

Signing off, I want to get OUT of this dirty hole.

Toodles :)

Something new

2009-06-27T19:12:00.006+08:00

Hello hello,
Finally the days of me sleeping at 4am, paper cuts, panda eyes, waking up at 6 bla bla bla...
ARE...... OVER! :D
I feel so relived but somehow something feels uneasy. I'm not sure what it is, but its something. Anyway, a few days ago; Yi-vonne and Reena slept over(sort of) more of doing our last project assignment. We were busy doing it when SUDDENLY! we were hungry. So at about 4am i drove to the nearest drive-thru McD. Best drive ever. NO cars :D
I went to the speaker box, ordered our food and both yivonne and reena started screaming their lungs out. (we were talking about spirits and ghosts before) So, my foot was not on the break because I was freaked out by their scream because I thought there was some Ju-on beside my window waiting to suck my soul but no it wasn't Ju-on, it was a baby cockroach. HAHA It was at the dashboard and I tried to remove that but it was too fast for me. XD
Thank god I was calm, then I wanted to reverse but the girls asked me to go straight to the counter. I was too ambitious, I wanted to reverse like James Bond, but I failed. So, I drove straight to the counter and I told the lady "Sorry Kak, ada cockroach tadi". (Sorry miss, there was a cockroach) With a very straight face. I wonder what the lady was thinking, I bet she thought we were drunk cause we were very hyper. Whatever it is, I got my burger and fries. Unsatisfied because I did not get my Chicken McDelux. Well, my burger was still chicken. Anyhooooo, We managed to finish it and played the game with the lecturer, the lecturer laughed and sort of enjoyed the game. So i'm GLAD.

I only have Malaysian studies left which is on Wednesday. I need to study to at least pass and not retake that stupid subject for the next semester.

The most shocking moment happened today; I went to college at 9.30 and i stayed there till 4.30. Usually, I'll inform my mom, that I had arrived safely to college because I'm driving and my mom is worried cause I'm a new driver; little does she know, I'm quite pushy while i'm driving. I don't like people bullying me on the road. Anyhow, I totally forgot. My mind was drifting in space. I had an exam at 2.30 so we had to put our bags at the back. During the exam, my mom called me numerous of times and of course I did not pick up. She texted me, but I did not reply. She called my boyfriend, then He called; of course I did not pick up. My mom called my sister to call her boyfriend to find my car at the parking lot just to make sure I'm there. My boyfriend drove all the way to college to find me. It was an honest mistake. It wasn't on purpose. I sincerely forgot. Then I called them back telling them I was at college the whole time and all of them sounded really worried. So yea... my boyfriend came shaking his head coming towards me then asking me to call my mom. I did, I called her first then I called my boyfriend, anyways, he sent me to my car and hugged me saying how worried he was and I kept explaining that I would never do this on purpose and I was at college the WHOLE time. I am sorry for the trouble. I feel guilty for being so irreseponsible. Just when I wrote a whole essay about adulthood and becoming more responsible. How ironic is that? Well I guess I'm still a child.

My schedule is so hectic and my life is all topsy turvy. It sounds easy, but It's hard to handle the amount of pressure we have to go through. Well I'm happy cause I have people who actually care for me. Not only that, so many inconsiderate people too.

Anyhoo, I am signing off.

Toodles :)

Reinvention

2009-06-21T00:26:00.002+08:00

Ridiculously I’ve been mad with myself and I think it is just downright stupid. It feels like I’m PMS-ing everyday. It sucks. I’ll get emotional; I realize every detail and point out the mistakes. I hate doing that, but again; I do, do it. I always end up being guilty for the smallest slightest thing. However, ego is another issue. I’m a chick with an ego. Well, everyone has one, you can’t deny, but mine is pretty huge. I do feel like winning, I feel like accusing everyone, I feel like making every small issue into something big PLUS making sure it is not my fault. Damn.. I sound like a bitch. On the other hand, I sustain myself from doing all that, People shouldn’t do that, I shouldn’t do that. I do show it a bit, I know I do; but I guess it’s unnoticeable? I am really sensitive and I cannot control myself. I make everyone’s life difficult. Probably, people can’t bare my melodramatic complaints. Well, in my previous post, I said that I don’t condemn people as much as I did last time, and that’s the truth. However, I complain excessively. From now on, I’ll start being my ‘high-school’ self and prioritize everyone first and putting myself last. It worked last time and made my life easier. I’m not being sarcastic or whatever but I am ACTUALLY being honest here.

This whole post is about reinventing me into a better person. I am still myself, but I just want to be a better person. I won’t change completely. I just feel that, I’m not treating people the way THEY should be treated. Anyways.. I actually thought of colouring my hair red and relaxing it so it’ll lose the ‘frizz’. This is a substitution of piercing my nose. Which I frankly felt like doing, but my mother is against the whole ‘piercing’ frenzy. So I can’t rebel against my mom with this. I respect her decision. Not just that, after my semester finishes, I am going to lose weight. I just need to lose this bulge in my middle section of my body.

Anyhooo, off I go. I need to stop blabbering.

I will write a more ‘meaningful’ post next time.

Toodles :)

Alright

2009-06-12T17:33:00.007+08:00

So, I was thinking and i realized that; I criticize people less than I did last time. I'm not saying that I don't condemn anyone. Of course I do, but If I see, for instance; People smoking or couples making out in public or underage groups going to clubs or drinking alcohol ; I don't give a damn. I'm not saying you should encourage them, but I don't say "EEeee, what the f#$@ ? Why do they do that, it's so wrong. " I used to though. I still complain, that's for sure but I don't do/say that. When I see that, I'll probably make a face (maybe, sometimes) then just walk away or even better just look and walk away. I guess I'm immune to that. I mean come on, almost EVERYONE loves doing what I just stated there and I see that almost everyday. So what, they love doing that, its their problem not mine and maybe without me realizing I may actually do something that I condemned; because of that, I would turn into a bloody hypocrite. So, Its better to shut up and let it be. I guess I criticize less is because the people I mix with don't condemn people that much unlike last time. I've been influenced for the better. :)

This whole few months, I haven't been exercising. I am beyond fat. Seriously, I'm afraid of looking at the scale machine. I know I gained weight, so I don't have any suspense checking it. I just "know". I want to lose my fats so I can wear clothes that looks nice. I have tonnes and tonnes of things to try on, but my weight can't compliment the clothes I want to wear :(
I know I won't grow vertically, so slash all the maxi dresses and shit.
Well, Soon soon, after all my work is done. I shall jog and jog and jog and jog. :)

Talking about work, I keep procrastinating; it's such a sin.
Damn my procrastination, when will it stop. I SHOULD and MUST do my work and finish most of it this two days and next week until submission date.

Well I should get ready, I have a wedding to attend. Another.Wedding. -.-
Signing off now..

Toodles :)

Hello AGAIN

2009-06-10T19:06:00.004+08:00

by : ffffound

Hellohellohello,
It is already June and I haven't been updating at all.
I was supposedly to write about my birthday which was a week plus ago and I can tell you it was THE BEST.
Celebrated with dauz, uswah and kamil. We went to the Dim Mak junkyard sale; it was the SHIZNIKS! Dauz slept over the night before after the whole night out then we got ready and went to KL. We actually got lost and asked the security guard from one of the condominiums.
We FINALLY arrived, it was so packed; we could hardly moved.
Met shitdisco, matt cobrasnake, steve aoki, lapsap; took some pictures and signatures.
and GUESS WHAT, I actually told darren from shitdisco that it was my birthday and at that time I was buying their album. THEN, Darren said "OUH! it's your birthday!" (handed out another album and gave it to me for free) He was the nicest, then he signed it and told me that Tom was outside having a drink. Then I went out to ask for HIS signature and i just handed out the CD's and he said "OUH! Its your birthday love?!" (grabbed me by the shoulder and hugged and kissed my cheeks) then continued by signing both my Cd's and talked a bit with me.
That made my day. ahhaha
I bought quite a number of items: bag, shades, earrings, CD. I think that was it.
We went to BB walked around for hours actually. By the time we came back to the car, the car keys were gone and there was a note from the management on the car.
Then they told us that they had the keys and told us to not do that again, bla bla bla...
Went to dauz's house, chilled for a moment and I went back home.
I was so ecstatic.

Anyways, I have been really busy, assignments, projects, exhibition, family, personal problems.
I haven't been planning time properly. I can feel the pressure slowly coming.
Few days ago, I attended for a wedding last weekend and we slept at the Bukit Merah Resort. I can honestly say, the place sucks. I had above average expectations, but the resort was so run-down. They had no quality and the service was just so-so, Safiya (my niece) tagged along and wanted to swim. So my sister, cousin and I went for a swim in the morning. It was so crowded, you would literally hit people in the pool and the children's pool was so packed.
The water was dirty and I felt quite disgusted. Well... I was wearing a bikini top and surfer shorts while most people there were wearing BIG, FLOWY tee-shirts with track pants. They were staring at me like an eagle. C'est tres bizzare. Well it wasn't just the stare, they were being so disrespectful. They were being so 'jakun' . Well, its not like I'm seeing them anytime soon. I just hate those kind of mentality.
Not just that, The room was so small and the bed sheets and sofa's had stains of I-don't-know-what, and the television was broken.
I would not have ever thought, Bukit Merah Resort was like that.
I would think more than 10 times to go there again. I'm serious.

Well, I have nothing to say for now. My brain is 'blank'.
I can't think of anything.
So, I am signing off...

Toodles :)

Procrastinators are the future

2009-05-24T16:59:00.003+08:00

Hello people,
My procrastinating level is pretty darn high up the roof.
I'm supposedly to finish 3 essays, well 2 (individual essay) , colour idioms, colour theory, sketch shit, and jack and jill.
What have I finished 100% ? Jack and Jill ONLY.
I haven't even started on my idioms and sketch thing.
I am dead I tell you. Holidays was pretty okay. Got some new stuff from my sister. Never expected it, but I am truly thankful and pleased. :)
Anyways, I have to pass up ALL of these, next week.
The only thing I planned was my outfit to class tomorrow (wth?)
I'm procrastinating on my essay right now, and I am suddenly having an idea block.
I can't think. My thesis statement is RETARDED for both my essays.
What is wrong with me????
If only I have the power to control everything with my mind. I wouldn't have problems anymore. I've planned everything up here in my noggin but no results.
I shouldn't blog right now, but it's so tempting.
Well I am FORCED to continue doing my essay before the day ends.

Toodles :)

Dim Mak-ening

2009-05-20T10:33:00.003+08:00

I have a special announcement to make. I am pleased to inform you that.....
wait for it.. wait for it...

How AWESOME is that! You can actually meet them in person. Not only that; It's a FREE ENTRY! For ALL ages.
This is throughout THE best birthday year ever!
How ironic is that, it's on my birthday. I can't stop saying my birthday. ahha
I guess I'm too thrilled that I'm turning 18 soon. Well I'm not entirely thrilled that I'm getting older, but it's just the feeling of being an adult. It sucks that, in a younger age, people don't encourage you to be exposed to 'some' gigs. For sure, most of us will sneak in and act older than our age, but being 18 has no boundaries. You are allowed to go to 'most' places. It's fun. I can honestly say that, When I was younger I would not have the opportunity to go to these kind of events. My mom is more flexible than before, but of course; there are still rules that I need to follow. I still have responsibilities. I'm not negligent, I understand that my mothers trust is very important to me.
Anyways, this junkyard sale would substitute my feeling of discontent for not going to Ratatat's gig. I hope so. I can't wait. :D

Well, I feel smelly and icky. I should go have a bath. ;p
Signing off for now..

Toodles :)

Deception

2009-05-19T16:33:00.002+08:00

Bonsoir people,
I have semester break for this whole week and it's already Tuesday.
Time flies so fast. It sucks that, everyday happens so quickly. It shows that you have to savor each and every moment of your life and not waste it.
Make each day count, get it?

Well moving on,
Some people just don't comprehend the meaning of promises. They just say it, but never mean it.
I hate it when that happens.
#1 : Keeps your hopes up
#2 : Everything was just a lie/ a hoax
#3 : Gives a very bad impression of themselves.
#4 : Wasted your time.

I can't stand those people, whom you try to help for their own benefits; they promise, but what do I get in return? Nothing! They break their promises and continue their 'bad' habits and acted as if nothing happened.

Well this irritates me.

I have some things to say, but my fingers are a tad bit too dead. Sooooo signing off then.

Toodles :)

RATATAT

2009-05-19T01:50:00.003+08:00

HATE that RATATAT is coming and I can't go. You know why?
21 and above.
Idiotic I tell you.
Shit losers. It's on the 28th of May, my mom would consider because my brother is going.
Damn my brother for being 27!
it's only Rm78 and that if you buy it at the door WITH urbanscape tickets.
I am so pissed off I tell ya.
-.-

I want to GOOOOOOO!!! RATATAT! WHY RATATAT? WHY?! Please come back when I'm 21. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase? :(

Well signing off, I need some beauty sleep.

Toodles :)

My thoughts at 11.52pm

2009-05-17T21:56:00.004+08:00

picture by: ffffound

Yet another post from moi.

Well my head has full of thoughts and questions.
Well lately, I noticed that couples cheat quite often now, and I do NOT know why.
It's unethical and just inhumane! Yet i keep wondering how it feels like being cheated (not how it feels like cheating) Even though I have experienced it before, but I was just curious who it would feel like now.
I know I sound weird, Who wants to experience being cheated? (zero, perhaps?)
Well I Don't WANT to experience it again. Even now, I think I have gained something that I'm not proud of, but according to my friends it's normal; I have increased my level of jealousy. It sucks I tell ya. So imagine if the person I love cheated on me. OOOooooh damn, could I be any more mad.
So I would be heartbroken and REALLY pissed at the same time.
Lately, I have been so pessimistic, as if everyone's against me and they want to ruin my life so badly and everything is JUST a lie.
FYI, I watched "Awake" yesterday, and Jessica Alba (Sam) Was a B#@%h!
The guy loved her and wanted to marry her, but HER objective was to kill him, get his organs and get the money. Everything was a LIE, and she made it so sincere.
Well my point here is, I guess you can't judge by the surface of the water once you've touched it.
There are many people out there, which are sincere and honest and would willingly do ANYTHING to please you, but I guess its hard. I mean everyone isn't perfect, but cheating? NOT acceptable.
I have the patience and the mouth of a deaf person. I would never want to say anything, because it may end up, me fighting with that certain person. I would never want that to happen. I can't handle a fight, I know that. Sometimes its better not saying anything cause surely if i start opening my mouth, everything will go haywire. Not that I'll do it on purpose. On the other hand, Bottling it up inside may not be a good idea either. That's why I would prefer sulking. ahha
I hate myself being so jealous, even for the slightest matter, but its no use for me to complain cause I just feel that, it's stupid and jealousy can jeopardize someones friendship. So, I would never want to complain and restrict anyone.

Well I was on the phone a few minutes ago and I thought about the most disturbing word I have ever heard, 'time-out'.
If He would ask for a time-out, right at this moment. I would break into tears. I would literally fall apart, but I have said that I respect any decisions made. Even though, he promised me he won't, you may never now. Situations can change. It sounds depressing.
I could admit I'm love struck. People can laugh all they want, Its true and I have no reasons to lie. That's why thinking of these situations perturbs my mind.
It's all related don't you think?

Well what are YOUR thoughts of cheating, jealousy and a 'time-out'?

Well enough babbling, I should sign off now for today.

Toodles :)

Misconception

2009-05-17T11:05:00.003+08:00

by : ffffound

Recently, I have been so stressed out, I wasn't being myself.
It sucks that some people around me are well partially affected by my egocentricity and I feel so guilty.
Some days I'm okay then suddenly a few hours after that I feel like hitting everyone and making a big deal of everything. I'll be so sensitive and moody at the same time and it'll make me so depressed.
Maybe this is caused by me being so tired, assignments, time etc..
Well I feel bad that, some people that I talk to, find me at the wrong time; Either I won't talk to them (for no apparent reason) or I'll treat them like shit.
Well I think I should seize this day as a day where I'll relax talk and get EVERYTHING out of my system. Drink some smoothies perhaps or maybe play some pool or foosball.
Go out for a drive with some friends of mine. Yea I guess I should do that.

Enough about that, I think I'll be having a great time next next week and I'll make sure that UOX is not a bore. Well I doubt that! :p
I hope my birthday will be a good one. Unlike last year. Pfft so much for a 'best friend' being there for me on my birthday. I wasted a perfectly good day to something that was stupidly selfish.
Well you only turn 18 once right? For the first time, I'm actually scared, somehow. I'm no more a child. The so called 'young one'. Everyone is getting old, and sooner or later you'll have to accept that.
Well, No plans just as yet :)

I guess I'll be singing off. I just needed to let this ALL out of my system.

Toodles :)

You are so beautiful

2009-05-15T19:44:00.003+08:00

You Are So Beautiful To Me
You Are So Beautiful To Me
Can't You See
Your're Everything I Hoped For
Your're Everything I Need
You Are So Beautiful To Me

Such Joy And Happiness You Bring
Such Joy And Happiness You Bring
Like A Dream
A Guiding Light That Shines In The Night
Heavens Gift To Me
You Are So Beautiful To Me

Joe Cocker - "You Are So Beautiful

Well I'm not a 'fan' of him but I find this song touching and when he said he was singing it for his late wife, I literally cried.
Fly fm had an American Idol show comparing whose better, Adam or Kris.
Well anyways, they played all of the songs which included You are so Beautiful.
I was crying so badly you cannot imagine.
Well I just wanted to blog about this and put it in my blog.
:)

So signing off..
Toodles :)

Babble

2009-05-14T18:17:00.002+08:00

Hello and bonsoirr,
I haven't been having enough sleep lately. I feel so worn-out.
Assignments after assignments after assignments. Well I sort of have little work this week because I finished it. Well, not really.
I have semester break next week and that will be the work where I'll finish EVERYTHING and start fresh the week after that. I can't afford to be really busy that weekend.
Parce que.... C'est My birthday! and I'm going to U.O.X the day before that(can't waiit)
So far, I have a manual to re-do, a sketch to do for creative thinking, Correction for the drawings, 3 english essays, Malaysian studies presentation and exam. Yea, I think that's about it.
I look like a freaking panda right now. -.-
Damn you assignments.
OUH! I just found out that, I ONLY have photography class for my 3rd semester. How excited am I. haha
X)

Anyways, I just realized, If I care too much and put too much effort. I'll waste my time.
I just have to stop.
It's true, they'll just say oh ok, relax relax and act a fake laugh.
How annoying is that, I shouldn't be too concerned.
I wouldn't get a thank you or even and 'awww'. So why should I work so hard to care.
~
I feel the urge of spending money for new clothes. I'm bored of my old clothes anywayy.

My head is *blank*. I just need some food and ideas.

Well signing off,

Toodles :)

BRRRRRRRrrrrrright! sunshine of heaven :O

2009-05-10T22:35:00.004+08:00

Just a useless post by me. :)

I JUST found out that shitdisco and the cobrasnake and steve aoki are coming to Malaysia on the 30th of May. What a coincidence being it a day before MY birthday :)

YAY! I'm so slow. ahha
AND AND AND AND AND AND my mom said it was ok. DAMN SHIT I'm excited.

This is ze poster :D

Well I wanna meet the cobrasnakes :O

and like during the party I'll be turning 18! COOOOOOOL

I sound like a kid huh?
Well it'll be gone soon. I'll be called a 'young adult'
damn, but legal to do some stuff.. ahahha ;p

signing off......

Toodles :)

Smackarooo's

2009-05-07T19:56:00.002+08:00

Prioritize! List of things I should do. Starting from today..

1. Do 10 bar codes : Creative thinking
2. Start on Manual : 2D
3. Colour theory : Fundamental Drawing
4. 3 Essays : English
5. Arrange ALL drawings : Fundamental Drawing
6. Study for Malaysian Studies : Malaysian Studies
7. Do sketches daily (if possible) : design subjects
8. Practice out door drawing

Well it sounds easy, but DAMN it's so meticulous.
Hopefully, I'll be 'pro' in design. :p

I'm actually bored, I should start all this but I've been procrastinating since last week.
Damn my procrastination. It's useless.

My thoughts for today..
- Je pense que, I've gained weight and I look like a freaking Hippo. I want to plan my daily life properly and add jogging and swimming to my list of things to do.
My ass look disgusting and my thighs! and my stomach is so flabby and my arms, urrgghh looks like jello :S
I have to stop this disastorous problem. ahha
I feel so blurghh. I should stop eating too much rice and noodles and FOOD.
But howwwww?? comfort fooooooooooood X'()
I have to try :(
Eat early, NO fast food or 'unhealthy snacks' , exercise, eat moderately or little, drink PLAIN water, DON'T waste money on 'teh o' ais limau' , make effort to walk up the stairs instead of the escelator.

Well and have enough rest :)
and my english lecturer says so. SLEEP. ahah

Well I'm crapping my ass off.
I should stop.
Toodles :)

The letter 'F'

2009-05-01T21:55:00.005+08:00

F the pedestrians, F trust, F hope, F the car, F love, F the heart, F the word 'advantage', F my stomach, F opportunity, F insecurities and F holidays. F F F F F!
F-ed up world.

That stupid pedestrian F-ing hit the car with his stupid thingamajig, ass.
I feel guilty, fine. I made a mistake BUT whatthehell don't hit the car that hard-lah, and to top that off, IT'S THE FERAKIN windshield. MY side of the car. I seriously wanted to break down after that.
Bloody stupid bum.

Enough of THAT, I feel like whenever I want to talk about something or hang-out ; there's always an obstacle. I seriously have NO one to talk to. I can't go to my mom for EVERYTHING. It's weird. When I say something, they divert the conversation to themselves. It just isn't fair.
Why? Ask them ..
I never have something 'great' to talk about. My life is really bland. That's for sure. I hate this feeling. I really do hate this feeling.
I wonder why I should even have fun this holidays.

I was ok this morning. Urghhh whatever-lah..

Signing off now.

12:06 am

2009-04-29T23:23:00.002+08:00

Why is it that,
Si I've been giving hope then not fulfilling it; I will realize straight away and I will feel TRES TRES guilty?
mais if it's another person, somehow they'll react the total opposite.
Maybe my manses is coming or something cause I feel like merdre.
Easily annoyed, insecure, stressed out, frustrated, not satisfied etc...
About what I said, I think ce n'est pas juste.
I get annoyed so easily if plans are canceled or promises aren't fulfilled ou my hopes are crushed with stupid and LAME excuses.
So yeah..... -.-

Anyways,
I had a talk with my aunty and we were talking about socializing, friends, boyfriend.......
It was quite uncomfortable for me cause she was talking to me as if I were a 5 year old ok maybe not THAT young; probably 13.
I'm in college and I know how to take care of myself. I'm not stupid. Friends influencing you to smoke or drink or take drugs; it's actually all up to you. Only if you have will power to say "NO"
In Malaysia, (not that I want to degrade my country) Loads and loads of teenagers or even adults for the matter in whatever religion; drink alcohol, take drugs, have open sex etc...
Well of course it's morally wrong, but it's not like most of them don't know the consequences.
Bien sur, they'll be ashamed (or not, depends on the person) but all friends or family or school/college mates can only give advice.
They have conscience to think.
Back to what my aunty said.. I didn't have a chance to speak up.
I respect her point of view, but her facts are only based on television and metro...
It's not true that, a person that drinks alcohol will sabatoge his/her friends that don't drink alcohol.
I have friends that drink, but they have never forced me to drink; because I know they respect me.
So far, I've never known anyone taking drugs but It's relevant to the statement I've just writtin up there.
It's also true that, friends can influence, but like I said IF you have the will power to say "NO", you'll be smart enough to not do any of those things.
You have to be careful no matter what, but you shouldn't judge those that do those things and say that they'll sabatoge whoever they think are better than them.
Not ALL of them are like that.
I know it's wrong, but I'm just stating my OWN point of view.
They should learn that it's dangerous and they should stop, but that's all I can say and do.
It's always up to them.

Ouh, and she was talking about her daughter's Ex-boyfriend.
My aunty used to like him because he helped a lot for the family and became close.
but that was before my aunty knew what he did behind her back, she digged for more information about him because she was concerned for her daughter (I respect that)
I felt uncomfortable, because It's quite weird for me. Imagine your mother digging for information about your boyfriend.
Mais, The things she told me was beyond jaw-dropping.
I was really shocked that he would do such a thing. I was scared and insecure right after she told me.
Mais, even though finding the truth hurts but I would prefer that I found out by myself without anyones help.
I know I'll be depressed and TRES triste but it's better that way. You can have your own privacy non?
Seriously, after she told me my heart literally skipped a beat. I was really insecure, I still am actually.

Well enough babbling, I need to finnish my sketching.

Toodles :)

Testing

2009-04-28T16:28:00.003+08:00

Testing Testing Testing Testing Testing

Hola!

2009-04-27T18:47:00.005+08:00

"I just find this picture entertaining." ;p
But what doesss make a man tick? O.o

Salut!

Finally after weeks of not posting anything, I am posting something now. :D
hahahah

Wokaaaaaay, moving on....
Lets see,
Assignments : As tall as a mountain
Total Absolute 'free' time : Nil
Friends: GREAT
College: Fun
Life:Quite blahh
Boyfriend: Formidable! :D

That sort of sums up 'some' things that I want to say. Ok to tell you in a loooooong and boring way:

Its been 5 weeks in college. Le temps passe vite, oui?
I remember it being the first day of college
Effrayant, but ended up great. The people are friendly and they are willing to layan my wackiness.
So far, I've had/have tonnes and TONNES of assignments and projects, c'est LOUF.
My classmates are really fun, everybody has their own thing to do. Friends are great too.
Since college, I have developed skills playing Pool and Foosball, but I still suck.
The lecturers are actually nice and really good.
My fundamental drawing lecturer told us that, there will be a field trip to I don't know where. He's still thinking, but he kept repeating Hong Kong, peut-être. Well I'm happy with ANYTHING. As long as it's educational and fun and not that hard for muslims, I wouldn't mind. It would be like a 5 day thing.
I told my mom and she agreed, so yay! I can't wait really. I've never been out of the country without my mom. It'll be weird though, but fun experience.

Ok.. going on.....
Yesterday, was my nieces birthday party. Her name is Safiya, the most CUTEST, ADORABLE, SMART little girl EVER. Gravement...
Her birthday was on the 21st of April, but everyone was busy during that time. Soooo, instead we celebrated it yesterday.
Habituellement, I'll be with my boyfriend on Sundays. So, he was forced to come to the party yesterday. ;p
He was nervous because most of my family members were there.
They were nice to greet him and smile and all. Wasn't all that scary..
My sister started bossing him already ahah, so well.. He is officially welcomed :p
OUH! I was so happy because he made a mix cd for me and it was the most sweetest gift ever.
I started being so jiwang and cried.

I won't tell you the tracks in the cd but I'm stuck listening to this ONE song. The lyrics are beyond formidable. C'est vraiment touchant

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last
And be the one that got your back
Ain't nothing ever that bad that we won't be together
And though we both made our mistakes
And some we never wish we made
But we'll be okay if we just stay together

How can I NOT be jiwang. I'll have to admit, I've listened to that song quite numerous of times already and Je ne suis pas soin :)

Insyallah, I hope we'll be together for a long time. Time will tell.. time will tell.

I've always heard that, MOST girlfriends or boyfriends usually will control the opposites.
Par example;
- She won't let him be friends with his OWN friends.
- Never let her go out anywhere
- Call every second to know EXACTLY what she's doing
- Be so emotional when not being acknowledged even for just a second for understanding reasons

Well there's more, but you know what I mean.
I'm not saying that I'm très parfait, of course not, but there's always the term 'space' or 'understanding'.
I just pity those that break up for those stupidest reasons. They can work it out if both of them are understanding and trusting. They should compliment each other :)
Okk, I guess I'm crapping...
Moving on,

Metaphorically,
A parasite is living on your head WITHOUT your permission and takes your blood, living on your head and making your life a living hell.

Question: Wouldn't you be annoyed?

I would.

As in literally, If someone stayed in your house without permission and takes your toiletries, food, clothes and of course accessibility at your own home ; wouldn't you be annoyed.
Plus, never acknowledging anyone at home, doing they're own thing.
It's rude and I think that certain person is taking to his/her advantages.
It's not fair to the owner of the house wouldn't it?
Like I said, it's like a parasite.
Logically, people wouldn't want to lose their dignity and would want to try to earn a living not depend on other peoples houses.
It's quite disappointing really.

Well I guess that's enough writing for today. I'll continue another day ( I don't know when that'll be)

So long,
Toodles :)

Artline

2009-04-08T20:53:00.002+08:00

Bonsoir people!
I promised for an update weeks ago, but never did anything.
Anywayyyyyyys, I've been wanting to take pictures of my new hair, but now it looks really unkempt and the red is slowly fading away :(
Well, soon hopefully. I've been occupied with assignments and college projects.
Fun actually. It's something different.
Met new friends, quirky, fun, funny bunch of people I might say. This would be my first semester. March - June.
I have 5 subjects till this June and I have only 2 final exams only :)
Which are Pengajian Malaysia and Technical English.
The rest are project based. Actually, that's more tough because I have to work hard for 12 weeks for each projects. Unlike final exams, you can 'sort of' study last minute but I mean you shouldn't do that.
Assignments are slowwly piling, scary really.
My brain is somehow not functioning right. I can't think of anything to write.
(That actually rhymed, ahah)
Anyhoo, I shall stop here and continue once my mind is flowing with words 'hopefully'

Toodles :)

*NEW

2009-03-28T00:08:00.003+08:00

UPDATE

I have cut my hair, sort of medium length & coloured it red.
Well just one small streak, hiding behind my other black hair. The colour is AH-MAZINGLY nice.
You have to look closely though, cause it's hidden. I was just experimenting the colour.
It looks nice I tell you.
Probably in May, I think I want to colour my whole head red.
*winks

Well I shall take a photo and post it.
soon :D

Till then,

Toodles :)

Thoughts of the day

2009-03-26T11:30:00.007+08:00

It's been a while, hasn't it?
Well I'll be attending Taylors College soon, as in next week, Monday.
I'm nervous & excited at the same time. I'll probably be by myself, for a certain period of time.
All I'm thinking is that, I'm better at designing than anyone there and I want to beat the crap out of them and ace everything. It 'could' happen. I don't know, or maybe not.
I really need to look good before I go, I need to buy a bag to put all my books and stationary. I need a haircut, I feel like a pontianak, my hair is almost touching my butt.
I need to get new tops because I'm so sick of wearing the same tops over and over again.
I need new flats, mine looks like my cat chewed off the front part of the shoe. Which is partially true.

Anyways, I've talked to my mom about stopping french class. It didn't work. I hate forcing myself learning something I don't like. To think about it, I'm not really learning half way. I have finished learning the basics, and that's ENOUGH. I'm just learning topics, which is really not relevant for ME. I'm not participating in any french politics, or learning business in France. The fee's are expensive, and she is willing to spend that amount of money, for nothing. Probably, if I were to write my CV, I could include french as a language that I can speak. Well, I CAN put that, but she still wants me to continue till advanced.
I can't stand it anymore. It's a bore for me whenever it's a Saturday. Opinions? I really want to give as much excuses to STOP.

Yesterday was emotionally challenging for me. It's a case of wrong timing.
The story goes like this:
I slept quite late the night before yesterday, so logically I had a tough time waking up.
My mother, woke me up so I could join her for a walk at the hill. I did say, "5 minutes".
Then, after 5 minutes, I stretched and stretched and sat on the bed looking blur and quite disoriented. I couldn't tell time at the clock because the lines looked fuzzy, so instead I took my phone and checked, at the same time, I wanted to disable the alarm clock.
Right after that, my mom was angry because I didn't move from the bed and she went down.
That woke me up right away, and I opened the door with my shorts and shirt, seeing if my mom was still angry. I had to decide whether to go down and join my mother or to go back up and sleep.
Stupid of me, I went back up and listened to some music while laying in bed. (I had my reasons)
I heard the gate closing and my mom text-ed me saying that, she was disappointed, and she couldn't belief her own daughter would do that.
After my father passed away 10 years ago, I had a closer bond with my mother because part of the reason why she stopped working and sacrificed that life is because she wanted to take care of me and the family. I was only 8 at that time and I had to grow up without a father.
My mom, has a strong will, and I know she tries her best to take care of her family.
Anyways, she was hurt, I could tell. After that, I apologized and changed my clothes and ran out to go meet my mother, although she was almost done. I walked all the way from my house to the hill. My mom still text-ed me to tell me that I was wasting my time chasing her.
I was stubborn and I ran faster to the hill. When I arrived, she was already in the car. I went in and apologized more, because I had a very dirty conscience. I tried and tried but she was still disappointed. After eating breakfast with her, I followed her wherever she went and helped anything necessary (clean the dishes, wash the clothes, hang the clothes to dry, carry the dry hanger outside the house)
JUST to make her happy.
Before that, she said a couple of things I couldn't bare hearing.
She wanted to be out of my life, because she assumed that, that was what I want. Which is OUT OF THE PICTURE. That is the last thing, not even last. Not even IN my list. I couldn't belief that came out of her mouth.
Like I said before, she is the only one that I have and I wouldn't know how to survive if she's not beside me. She is my backbone, she is what made me for who I am (the good side of course)
I don't know, that made me emotionally unbalanced.
There are other things that she said, but I don't think it's suitable to tell it in public.
Well, I have to be careful, with what I say and do.
I should, Help her more often, talk to her, be with her if she needs anything.

" This is not just for me, this is for ANYONE & EVERYONE . Your mother should be respected and be taken care of. Don't ever take your mother or father for granted, they love you even if they beat you up or whatever. You should always have a conscience whenever you're doing something or asking something from them. No matter what. It's a lesson to be learned "

I guess I'm done writing for today, Well, I will update once I have an idea or probably after my first day of orientation at college.

Wish me luck!

Toodles :)

The End

2009-03-20T23:46:00.001+08:00

I have ended my job as a ‘clerk’ today.

I was exceptionally excited because it was my last day of work. Went to work quite late but arrived early with the other employee’s.

Most of the time, I was just eating biscuits and drinking water from the pantry because some of my work was done by my replacement, and I bet she’ll do a wonderful job. Anyway, I didn’t have much work to submit today.

Well, I’ll miss the stupid jokes and office humours which can be quite vulgar.

Off to college life!

Anyways, I’ve decided that I want to stop learning French. Well I want to discontinue from their lessons because I think I have learnt enough to make a conversation. I realized I will be wasting my mothers money because I have no passion in learning deeper. Not grammatically but topics discussing. The topics are too deep. Politics? History? Well it’s quite interesting but not when you’re mind is empty and your mouth will be just moving. It’s embarrassing actually.

I look like a doofus. I like French especially if you want to sound sexy (haha) or talk behind someone’s back or probably complimenting/ complaining someone in front of you.

I still have a plus point, which is that I have basic French communication skills. I can talk, but it also depends on the topic. Maybe a normal conversation is quite possible.

It’s like a dread whenever It’s a Saturday, I’ll be so lifeless. It’ll take half a day.

I won’t have time for my friends.

Oh française est trés imposible!

I don’t have much to say and I want to change my clothes and sleep. My eyes are forcing my eyelids to close shut.

So,

Toodles :)

A syndrome

2009-03-14T09:34:00.003+08:00

Hello there!
Well SPM results were out last Wednesday. I wouldn't say mine is stop notch, but I might say that I'm quite satisfied.
I got 1 A1 , 3 B3 , 4 B4 , 3 C5.
Imagine that, my lowest is a C. I thought I'd be getting G's.
I've never gotten that many B's in my life. What I was worried was that, I was afraid I wouldn't pass my colleges qualifications. I've gotten credits for ALL my subjects, so my education is quite bright.
SPM is actually the stepping stone to college or university, so by getting the results that you have obtained, it shows that, you are qualified to do whatever course you're taking.
I just need 3 credits plus English. So, that's no sweat. ;)
I was born average and never above average, well not when it comes to exams.
I can't cope with stress,

EXAMS = STRESS

Nevertheless, you still have to work hard and never give up. You'd never know that maybe you'll get scholarships and not use your parents money. I would love that, but with those results, I doubt that.
Or maybe you'll get offers to those really good colleges.
All I can say is that, I'm satisfied and happy with what I got.
I realized in general, everyone has an " A syndrome"
Everyone will ask "How many A's did you get?" and not often "What did you get?" question.
For me of course, when i say 1 A. I bet they'll just look at me or stare. I don't know.
Sometimes, it's not JUST the A.
I'm not saying don't get that many A's but for people like me, I feel very pressured not getting those many A's.
Anyways, I need a bath, my body feels so sore, and study a lil' bit of french.
So,

Toodles :)

Music played (Ottoman : Vampire Weekend)

2009-03-07T00:42:00.004+08:00

Confusion is rambling through my mind,
I may had made simple things become complicated.
I can't control my emotions or actions,
which is a danger to people who are close,
I can't explain what is inside,
For even I cannot understand,
A hundred apologies won't take me far,
Believing in myself won't give me a scar,
I would understand if things go wrong,
My conscience is making me think,
Managing myself could probably take some time,
I know it means being alone and all by myself,
Physically I may look normal,
But they're wrong because it's an illusion,
I am true to myself,
but there are times when I keep it quiet even I won't know what to say,
I stay secluded and unharmed, not contacting the outside world,
And hope for peace and serenity,
I'm feeling mentally nauseous it makes me sick,
I have so many questions in my head,
but none of them have been answered,
I realize that it will never be the right response,
and I will never be satisfied.

** Things haven't been satisfactory.
I feel so upset. One thing can damage everything. I could actually be emotionally unstable. I feel like shit.